Hello again
The question I really have is this. Does anyone really knows what it is to be alone.Truly alone. Alone for the holidays. Is anyone going to be alone for the holidays. I am going to be. I am alone now and will be for who knows how long. There is no one for me. ... No dinner, no presents, and I would of like at least one gift this year, considering I have not had a gift in over 15 years, for Christmas. Not a one. Is that selfish to ask for a single gift. I think it is not.
I know most/allot will be getting one. I don't know what has happened or what I did. I know I did what I was to do in my life,that is to look after my mother.....For this part of my life anyways. What is next, I don't know.... I am trying to figure it out
And to top everything off, I can't go anywhere. I have nothing left on my bus card. OK enough to get me somewhere, but not to get back. No money to put on the card either. So I can't even leave the White Rock area. I can only walk. Now being hurt in this accident, makes this hard to do as well. With all the snow we have had and the freezing temperature as well. The frozen sidewalks.....etc.....
The pain is getting worse as each day passes. I know that there is something seriously wrong with my neck. But I won't be able to get anything done about it either. I need to go to physiotherapy, but I don't have the user fee. Which I would get a refund on , but I have to pay it upfront first. So I can't get the, needed assistance I need to help get me better.
Yes I am just about complaining lately, but this is my reality. The reality of being alone and lonely.The reality of being injured, again... The reality of not spending Christmas with anyone. It is mostly about the reality of this being the first Christmas without my mother and missing her terribly
I spend more time talking to myself than speaking with others. And I am even answering myself. Well no one else to talk to.
I am not one to just sit at home and do nothing. When I had a monthly pass I just went out. Not spending money. But just get on the bus and go... Yet now I don't have a choice. Really, there is not much to do in White Rock , when you don't know anyone. And it is cold outside. -10 with the wind chill.
Typing is hurting me now so I need to go.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
https://www.gofundme.com/anewmesmile
https://www.gofundme.com/krisschmuland
Kris Schmuland
#409-15216 North Bluff Road
White Rock, BC
Canada, V4B0A7
