Hello again
Today I decided to call the insurance company in my province. ICBC. And see how much I owe. It turns out they wrote the dept off. So I owed nothing. Off to the Drivers bureau to see about my license. Since it has been ten years or so since I owned a car and driven. I have to take the road test again. Plus I need to take a test on road signs. Well I failed it three times. And that is all you are allowed each day. I can go back tomorrow and take it again. But I have the book and on the ICBC web site I can take the practice test as many times as I like. Which I am planning on doing. I will go back on Monday, better prepared.
I just walked into the place, with not having driven in a long time. What did I expect.
And then, the depression hit me. I started to think about mom and driving her around. Which I was not able to do, because of the dept. Which was written off last year. If I only knew I could of been taking mom out for drives all over the place. Guilt is now a huge part of my day and tearing that comes with it. I just thought. Not good enough. I should of been on this every year.
And the last few days have not been good. I have been filled with anxiety, depression. And I missed my doctors appointment this morning. As well as an intake for a depression and anxiety workshop. That I booked at the same time and the same day. Today at 10:00 am. This alone caused me to shut down. When I screw up like this I shut down.
I have so many things to do, I am getting none of them done. Time to write a list and check things off as I go.
I have to call several subsidized housing organizations. To apply at. Which I have not done and had the list for a week. I am getting up to late in the morning. OK, I don`t have a list made up.
Now I need to go and explain everything to all. Why I missed my appointments More guilt to add to my list.
These are some of the things that stop me cold in my tracks each day. Not getting anything done.
This is the reason I am so ......... up.
Need to eat and get up early to go to the clinic and take some practice tests.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland.
