Hello again
So my day was busy, this is a good thing. It keeps my mind busy, so I am not thinking to much about mom. The only problem is the bus ride. I am constantly looking at all the photo's I have of mom, Thinking to myself that I should of taken more. There is not enough of them. Just not enough.
I do wish I could of done more for mom. Take her out more often, do more things for her. Even though I had time issues, as a result of taking the bus 3 hours or more to get to see mom and having to pick things up for her. But that made my day more enjoyable. Getting things I thought mom would like, picking out clothing for her. fruit etc..... I did enjoy all of that.
I should of wrote more about mom, yes this is true. I still have the opportunity to do that. To describe to you all of mom's days.
I don't know. Really
I just am lost still and I know I am still in shock over her death. But I do know that there is something brewing deep down inside of me. Ready to let loose. The grieving process has not begun yet and that I fear is what is brewing inside me. Not sure if I will be able to deal with it, when it happens. I am thankful that I have a distraction. Trying to get mom's ashes. I do still need help raising funds for this.
https://www.gofundme.com/ka556fdk
But the one main thing I need to do is to give mom and memorial service, one that she so deserves. If I do it where mom's ashes are, then I can have mom's ashes present during the service. The whole issue of who will finally be awarded her ashes will still come down to a Supreme Court Justice, making that decision. The sisters and myself will not agree on this. They just want there own way. And nothing will change their minds.
They really do think it is going to be easy for them and that I will give in and let them have her ashes. Not going to happen. I will do whatever it takes to make sure of that. I don't care if it kills me. Than mom will just be buried with me.
I can't say anymore this evening. I was just busy today, and tomorrow as well. I have to travel to New Westminster and then to Coquitlam and back. That by bus, is a whole day. Including the appointment in each city. Yes that is the problem with taking the bus. One can only plan a few things in one day.
So I do wish all of you a good night.
GOD bless
Kristopher Schmuland
