Hello again
As the title suggests, it is becoming more difficult with each passing day. Considering I still don't have my phone, no thanks to Sony. No answer yet either. I can't even properly get ahold of a bereavement counselor. I have this WiFi phone and as it suggests, it is only good when I am connected to WiFi. And that is only where I live, and spotty at that. I tried to call her back. But she was not available and I needed to leave.
I can't be here, I can't just sit here all alone, with no way of contacting anyone. And I found out that I can only talk on this WiFi phone for 10 minutes before they cut me off. Actually after 5 minutes they cut me off with a warning to follow letting me know I only have 5 minutes left for this call or I purchase credits to continue.
What can anyone talk about for 5 minutes. Not much.....
So having a conversation with the bereavement line is out of the question. So now what. I am hurting very much.
I spent the last 7 years every single day, by my mothers side, taking care of her. And if mom would of lived another 10 years I would of still been by her side. Without a problem.
I am just saying this as that was my life, my whole life. I chose it to be that way. I believed in taking care of your loved one and still believe that and will always will. It was the way I was raised.
No so with others that I know. OK my sisters. They were never around while mom was alive for the last 10 -12 years of her life. And now they want to take over everything.
I am in pain, I don't need this. I don't need Sony screwing me over, I don't need the BS of my sisters.
More on them another time.
I want to speak on Al Hogg. I was in there today, just to talk to a few of the daughters of residents and I was pulled aside and told not to come there anymore. That it is not good for me to be there. That it is not good for my grieving process. I told them that they don't know what is good for my grieving, That they have no idea what is or isn't good for me.
I do believe that it was Al Hogg that killed my mother. I told them not to give mom morphine and they did it anyways. Two doses and then mom died. They told me we can if needed. we don't want to see her in pain.
Mom was not in pain, Mom was relaxed and fine until Al Hogg dosed mom. Within a day of Al Hogg giving mom teh morphine injections, mom passed away.
Yes I am in the blame stage. But I told them no, Repeatedly and they did it anyways. I need a good lawyer who will take this on pro bono.
It is the truth. As you can see by them telling me not to come there anymore. And the way they treated mom her last days. Was disgusting. I had to constantly tell them to not be so ruff on her. That mom is frail. To be more gentle. Heh, stop being so ruff on mom she is frail and weak. Becareful. I had repeated this many times But they did not listen to me.
As far as I am concerned Al Hogg killed my mother. It was there lack of respect for my decisions that led to her quick demise.
And today when I was there, Nothing. I was there for 4 and 1/2 years, every single day. And they acted as if they never met me before. I was a stranger. Hi as a they would say to a stranger. The children of parents showed me more decency then any staff member there. One of the individuals who was there telling me not to come anymore was a nurse who I had many conversations with and not even a sorry for your loss. None of them said this to me. 41/2 years spent at that place. I thought, and thought wrong, that we had a connection or at least friends. No I was wrong about everything.
I can't even be here in Coquitlam. All week I have been ridding the bus around at night. Staying out as late as I can. Not to be here alone. OK when I am ridding the bus, I am around people. Not by myself, in a room, with no one to speak with.
I still have not had a conversation with anyone about my loss. No one. I am dying inside, I am afraid.
I AM ALONE!
Kris
