Hello again
So I realize that the only good thing I have done and am doing is looking after my mother. Otherwise I am a total waste of skin. Other than looking after mom, I should not of been born. I have done and am doing nothing else worth while in my life.
Looking after mom is the best thing that I have ever done, with my life. Yea I have a good education, been married, no kids, did not really love my ex wife. Fell in love, but lost the girl because of my drinking. Go figure...
Again if it were not for mom!
So mom is having regular movements. But it is due to the suppositories she is getting. I am getting her to drink the tea. It is strong, which she doesn't like. I need to find a different tea with a better taste.
When I arrived mom was a little more awake today. Big smile on her face when she saw me. And ate, well it is the weekend and, as mentioned, she really doesn't eat as she should.
Nothing being done about the roommate issue. The lights etc... and the complaint department has not even bothered to return my calls. Will keep calling. Actually, I think it is time to contact the MLA of White Rock. Or the newspapers.
Got her into bed. OK, not me, but the staff. And gave mom her spa treatment. She loves this so much and looks forward to it each night. This way when I am done, I hold her hand until it is time for me to leave.
I have to say I feel guilty about spending money on myself. My own money I am speaking about. I feel I should be spending it on mom and making sure she eats well and dress's well. To make sure mom gets the proper supplements to keep her healthy.
Like the runners I bought, I needed them, because of all the blood I got on them. But each day I think the money could of been better spent on mom.
Yet I will say that I'll never wake up believing everything I do for mom is a waste
I do need to raise funds for things for mom, though. I don't want to face it but mom is going to pass away sometime. GOD bless it is not for a long time. But she will. And I need to raise funds for a funeral.
Mom wants to be buried, with her husband, not cremated. As my sisters did with my dad. Even though dad was a vet and would of been buried without cost to us.
I have been in contact with the funeral home/cemetery where mom's mother and father are buried. I know what I need to raise now. Funerals are not cheap. It will be $25,000.00
I will try a fund raising site.
It is very difficult for me to even think of. It is absolutely depressing to me.
You know, I love my mother and am so glad of this opportunity I have been given.
I have to go, and start to write the message for the crowd funding site. And it is after 11 PM and I am hungry. It has been 4 days since I hurt my back and I can stand up straight, but I still hurt. And those days I could barely walk and stand up, I was not even hungry. I barely ate anything.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
I have chosen a life of servitude, looking after mom.
