Hello again
Well this morning while taking a shower, I bent over to rinse my hair and my back went out. Click, that was it.
It was painful to make mom's smoothie. But mom needs this so no amount of pain will stop me from making this or going to see mom.
I am still in great pain, it will probably last 3 or 4 days.I will walk bent over like I am 100. I will continue to take the bus to see mom.
Unfortunately, because of the pain I was not able to make mom a dinner. So I picked up some Chinese food for dinner. She ate the whole 3 item meal. Plus! And I don't see me being able to make her dinner tomorrow. So it will be cheese and crackers, dip and fruit.
The way to White Rock and back was not fun, and looking after mom was difficult. Again, I, no matter how I feel I will continue to go and be with mom.
Lets face it, mom is my life. And I enjoy every minute of it..
I slowly got mom ready for bed, even brushing her teeth was intense. WoW! The care aid got her into bed, I helped and we got her changed. Then the spa treatment. Mom only wanted her face done, but I did the rest as well and she got really upset. Can she ever give me a dirty look when she wants to. All there I say.
But standing there, holding her hand, after the spa treatment was very difficult. So I had to get the chair and do it this way. Mom didn't mind. As long as I was holding her hand, she didn't care. And mom holds on very tightly.
Just typing this, is bothering my back. But I don't care. This needs to be done. Only in my world, though.
I am getting more and more depressed as it is drawing closer to the holiday. I am worried about making mom's Christmas special. Getting her something nice. And having a nice dinner.
The home is having their Christmas dinner on December 10. A little early doesn't one think. So on Christmas day they get the same old turkey they get every week. So I need to make her a real dinner. Have to find a way of doing this.
My dad passed away in December and it gets to me, and I am sure it gets to mom as well. This is why it is so important for me to make this time of the year special for her.
I have been their every holiday for her since dad passed away. I don't have a Christmas. I am with mom and then come home to be alone. I don't know what a turkey dinner tastes like anymore.
Yes I said they are having their dinner on December 10, but I am to busy feeding mom to eat myself. That is the way it is. So I go without. It is more important for mom to enjoy herself, than for me to have a Christmas dinner.
I just would like to have something this holiday.
To just find a place in White Rock would be a great Christmas gift. OK, I would really like a proper TV, that I can use with my laptop. I don't need cable. As long as I have the Internet I am fine.
But these are just wishes!
Well I am in great pain and I am going to bed. I am not even hungry. I guess it is a good thing I have nothing. OK. I am going to eat some crackers. All I want and need tonight.
I took some extra pain killers. Don't worry, it is just Gabapenten. A mild nerve pain killer. Just takes the edge off, nothing else.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
I have chosen a life of servitude, looking after my mother
