Hello again
Good evening. How is everybody this night. I hope you are fine. I am OK. Mom is good.
One of the residents wife was speaking with us tonight and said to mom that she is spoiled. Well we both knew instantly, that mom was saying. "And what about it" we just looked at each other and knew that is what mom was saying, with a huge smile on her face, as she said it. Not exactly clearly. but we got it, anyways.
I didn't have anything to bring mom for dinner. And I feel really bad about this. It is driving me crazy. Nothing for tomorrow either. At least tonight her dinner was not, they say minced, but it is actually pureed. And mom just hates this. She had roast beef and potatoes ( Mom gets potatoes every night) and she is sick of them. Plus some soggy squash. It is a good thing I had her smoothie and fruit. Including avocado and her chocolate.
Side note. No matter how many times I spell avocado, I spell incorrectly. That GOD for spell check. It is an easy word to spell.
Again, I don't care that I have nothing for myself. It is mom who I care about. I really do care that she gets home cooked meals at least once a day. I do everything I can to make mom feel at home. She has her own plates, cutlery, mug and glasses. I serve her meals on these plates. One meal, which I should be bringing on one of the plates and I take the meal that she gets off of the tiny plate that it is served on and place it on the other plate. Yes mom gets two full size plates every meal that I am with her.
I have noticed that I cannot give her large pieces of food. She has a hard time chewing it. Which makes for a hard time swallowing it. I line her drinks up so mom chooses which drinks she wants and each moment. I try to give mom as much choice as possible. The table is organized in such a manner that she can point to what it is she wants.
I wait until she finishing chewing before I give her anymore. Not like the staff do. They almost force feed the residents. Saying that they have others to feed, so we have to do this. NO they don't. This is how problems occur.
They ask me how to do things for mom. How to brush her teeth. Does she drink from a cup or bottle with ease.
Yes mom is changing. I am well aware of this. And it saddens me to see her go through this. But I am not going to let this interfere with our time together. I am not going to dwell on it. I make sure mom is doing well at all times.
My own Alzheimer's therapy. And it is working.
If I was not such a looser and have a place in White Rock. I could have her over and do more things for her. I am in another depressive state now. As mentioned the last one lasted over 4 years, with weight gain of 70 lbs. It feels worse than when the last one started. This time with extreme anxiety. And my OCD is in full swing. I try to hide this from mom. But she knows a little bit of my OCD. Her closet, the way it is organized. Left to right, alphabetically by colour and seasons. No metal hangers, plastic only. The metal hangers leave marks on the clothing. I have this obsession, when my OCD is full on, with crooked pictures. They drive me crazy. I have to straighten them out. No matter what or where I am.
Anyways, we sang. Yes I see mom moving her lips to the music, and put her in bed. The nightly spa treatment and then I just hold her hand while she falls off to sleep. I can't stay until she is completely asleep, as I need to catch a bus to get home before midnight.
And it is 1 AM now and I really need to just go and do nothing.
I will start to loose weight soon. I guess I could loose a few pounds
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
