Hello again
Well it is now after 1 AM and I am just starting to write this.By the time I arrived home and did a few things, this is the time.
Day 3, bloating is starting. by day 5 or 6 this will go away.
Mom was very hungry tonight and I feel even more guilty that I couldn't bring her a home cooked meal. She ate what was given to her.. It was not enough and she really did not enjoy it. I am besides myself at what to do.
One of things that make the day is knowing I can make my mother dinner. Because she loves my cooking. And when I can't do this for her, I feel that I am not good enough or I am not taking care of her the way she took care of me, when young.
This my wish. one of them, anyways. You know the others. Moving to White Rock. Close to her.
I am totally devoted to taking care of mom. This is what I do and because of it, I have lost all of my friends. They don't understand how I feel and think. How there is no one else for her and I refuse to let her be alone for any length of time. I try to be their as much as I can. Everyday. I don't miss any days. This is the way it has to be.
No matter how I feel, the pain I feel. I put this aside and do what is right for my mother.
Pray for me
I have to go, really.
Kris Schmuland
