Hello again
Who is the hypocrite, That would be me.
I try to live by the rule "Ye who is without sin, let them cast the first stone"
Well I rag on and on about my sister's and their taking thousands and thousands. I mean hundred of thousands of dollars from my parents. And I have had my hand in the cookie jar as well. Not to that extent, but none the less, I have taken money from my parents before.
And as a matter of fact, my bus pass every month comes from my mother's money. And my excuse is I use it everyday to go to see mom. And yesterday was the first day that I have missed seeing mom, in White Rock, since mom was transferred their in October.
I get money to buy mom her needs from her funds. And, yes I do sometimes spend some of the funds on myself. Which I feel really guilty about lately.
And how dare I expect my mother to pay for my clothing and dress clothes and shoes to go for these job interviews.
I am a not so nice person. Well actually I am not a nice person for doing this and expecting my mother's funds to pay for clothing for these job interviews.
My biggest problem is the fact that the PGT made promises and if kept, I would already be in White Rock. And if they did keep their promise, it would be my mother's money that would of been used to get me their. The $10,000.00 that they promised me.
I am glad I did not receive it. But I am not glad that I am still in Coquitlam. Which is the farthest place I should be from mom. I should be right their. Within a 10 minute walk at the most.
And I am thinking myself a complete looser for even taking the money for the bus pass. If I didn't I would not be able to go. And, again, I do go and I am their for her. Every night. I give her a spa treatment nightly. And do her nails.
Tonight mom was lucid. Beginning to speak clearly again. Stop the drugs and mom speaks as we do. Mom gets better. I don't know how much better though. But better.
So mom understood the fact that I needed to sleep. As the staff are getting her to bed later and later. And this means I don't get home until almost midnight now. Then I have things to do. And after this it is late, or early as it would be.
Burning the candle at both ends, finally caught up with me. And mom wanting to go to dad had a extreme effect on me. I couldn't sleep at all.
Mom was in a good mood, even though no one has been to visit her in a while. This saddens me, deeply. But mom was all smiles and hugs and kisses tonight.
I love it when mom is all relaxed. Yet mom in any mood is great for me. I love being their and visiting with her. It is my life and I am very happy with it. And would never change a thing about it. At all.
But I have to find a way of getting myself moved to White Rock. And to furnish a place. Get a car, to take mom to her doctors appointments and to visit places and people.
I do need clothing, not just for the job interviews. But clothing in general. Nothing fits me, and is falling off all the time. Even my under garments are now to big for me. And I am constantly pulling them up, all day long.
Looks like I like to grab my ass, or I am, well you know.
No job interviews for me this coming week. I had to phone and cancel them today. Yesterday I mean.
Mom was relaxed today and we enjoyed are time together. I have downloaded allot of music for mom, on to my phone and will be getting more tonight.
Slacker is not working properly. So no radio. This is OK,
Mom was and is looking forward to tomorrow when I visit again. I will bring her the big salad she likes. I got a little bit of comfort money funds today. I spent $10.00 on myself today out of the money. And then purchased groceries to make mom dinner tomorrow night and then funds left over to try to last me until the end of the month. Which this $100.00 won't last.
I don't know what I will do, but GOD has a plan. And I have to trust GOD that HE will supply my needs. So I can move to White Rock within a few month's. My goal is for the end of May or sooner. If it is in the plan.
I really wanted to go to these interviews next week, but so be it. Their will be other interviews. Who knows if I would of even liked what I would of been doing. So I don't know. It did not work out so who can even say what is what.
I missed my mother yesterday.When I didn't get their. I need to see her everyday. I love the smile on her face when I get their. She knows exactly when I arrive.
She loves it when I sing a long with the music. And I am getting pretty good I do say so myself.
Mom had clear eye's today.
I must go now. I have been up for over 24 hrs now. And I do need to get up and get some salad items.
So GOD bless and good night.
Kris
