Hello again
Today, or actually last night and for many nights now, I have not slept and it is effecting me. Today I slept in or tried to sleep. And it was 3:00 pm when I got up. I didn't want to go, as I wanted to just sleep, but mom can't go anywhere and it is important for me to be their. I make her day and she makes mine.
So I got my lazy ass out of bed and quickly got showered and dressed and out the door I went. Well not the quickly, bu quick enough.
I knew it would be late when I got their and it was. I had nothing for her. No drinks, nor snacks or fruit for her.
I took the only things I had for her, was a couple of puddings. OK I had some snacks for her. No drinks though.
I got their at 7:40 pm and mom was already in bed. But not asleep, which I thought would be the case. When I went into her room, mom immediately knew I was there.
So I told her what and why I was late and then proceeded to do her daily spa treatment. Fed her some pudding and sang to her as I do every night. I sing my goodnight song to her.
Now, I now live with an alcoholic, one that is the worst type of drunk. The one that hides his drinking, takes his empties with him everyday, to dump, so no one knows how much he drinks.
And he has been using all of my things, hair gel, shampoo, tooth paste and butter. Plus a whole, large bottle of hand sanitizer, Which he states he never used.
I can't be around this, as I am a recovering drunk. And I have had no problem admitting it on this blog. Now I need to move to White Rock. And I am getting help to get on disability through a non-profit group and I can work as well while on disability.
I have arranged two good job interviews for next week. The only problem is I have no clothing, suit, I mean for these interviews. They are in the field that I have studied for the last many, many years. They pay well, very well. And I asked the PGT for help, after they tell me to get a job. And what they say to me is ask welfare. Knowing full well that they won't help me.
I need one of these jobs, as I explained to the PGT and it doesn't matter to them, they say no to everything. They know I have nothing and need everything to move from here and now know the circumstances I now live with. And it is not good for me. Don't get me wrong I will never drink again. It is not for me. I prefer to be straight. I just don't want to be around people who leave their empties around and can't clean up after themselves. As three people live here and it has to be cleaned for everyone to use everything.
I am not a maid and I won't clean up after anyone. And this place is seeing the results of me not cleaning. Ants are now in the kitchen and it took me along time to get rid of them when I moved in. So I am not even going to care about any of this. I have mom to worry about, not this crap.
Now I need to move from here, as I can't be around this. And if I am, I am going to explode and freak out on this guy. I don't do this. But if he doesn't repay me I will be left with no choice. OK I am talking out of my ####, But I won't even have anything to say to him from now on. I can't leave anything in the bathroom anymore, or any food in the kitchen. I have to keep everything in my room. I don't even know if he has been using my mother's things. I don't think so, as they are always with me.
Now I found out that the comfort funds are not available to me as the social worker is away for the rest of the month. Well I found this out because I checked my voice mail. Well I don't check voice mail that often. Once a week. As I have caller ID. And the social worker left me this message last Friday. So I now, sent an email to the PGT who arranged this mess.
Now the PGT is going to cost me more jobs. They have cost me a business that I re started a few years ago now, and this organization that I am trying to get off the ground. www.adsaac.ca and www.adsaac.com but the one is now suspended as I could not make the payment for this month. And the numbers on the web site don't work either. I have business cards with all this information on them. They didn't cost me that much, but they are useless to me now. Oh well. you know what, I don't care.
Mom is the only person I care about and that is it. I try to do what is right and try to get myself to White Rock. I apply for disability and was turned down because of the doctors writing the wrong things down. They didn't even check my medical background.
And then, the appeals tribunal, sends me to a place that I cannot get too. And then turned down again. It is not like I wanted to be on disability forever. It was to get me out of Coquitlam
The forces that be, have turned me down again. but for mom's sake I will never give up, nor will I never surrender.
So it is late again, and, well I can't go to sleep tonight. I need to make calls in the morning, to try to find funds to get mom her snacks and drinks.
I have nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
