Hello again
So first I want to say I am very upset at people. Today, as I have heard often, Someone asked me if I go to see mom everyday. And then when they walk away, I hear, I would never do that, no matter who it is. I am too busy to do that. He must be crazy or a looser. For doing this everyday. I have to many things to do, to spend that kind of time. This is exact words. As I have a extremely good memory.
This is my only family member left. When mom passes I am completely alone. No family left and then know one else. As I have mentioned before that my ex friends have the same attitude as the people above.
My mother is the world to me and I would do anything for her. Here is another example Today I had five dollars to my name. Taking in the roommates cans and bottles'. So I have a choice. Get something for dinner when I get home or get mom her drink and fruit. Well of course I bought mom her things. I will go without again, and again and again if I have to. Mom, tonight did not like her dinner. So I am glad I had somethings for her. I had some crackers and a little bit of cheese and the fruit and her drink. So mom had a good dinner after all. Now if I were to of bought myself something for dinner, mom would of gone without her dinner.
Mom eating is more important then me eating. And tomorrow, I have nothing for her.She drank the entire bottle of fuzz and eat all the fruit and the rest of the cheese. Yes it would be nice if I could eat, and have a hot meal. But, again, mom is more important. She needs to eat and keep her strength up. Mom needs fruit and cheese and good healthy food. This is what I try to bring her all the time. This is why I will go without. Mom is in a wheelchair and has been crippled by the institution of River View and needs to keep strong. And the only way to do this is to make sure mom gets healthy foods and to exercise. Which is by walking her.But I cannot do this. Because everyone is worried they will be libel if something happens to mom while I am walking her.
And on top of this. How would you like it if you needed to go to the washroom and nobody would take you. After repeatedly asking for someone to take her to the washroom. And of course I am not allowed to do this either. Come on. if my mother is ok with this, then what is the problem.
I need to phone the legal department of Peace Arch Hospital tomorrow to get the waiver done. I did explain this to mom. At first she did not understand what a waiver was, but I explained it to her and she understood.
As I say, mom and I have conversations all the time, everyday. And we communicate extremely well.
I really need help with all of this. At least someone to provide some home cooked meals for mom. So I can take these to her. I can't afford anything. And funds for me to get her drinks and fruit. Mom has had this horrible rice 3 or 4 times a week. And dry this and dry that. I really need to bring her, her dinner from now on. At least I am asking for help with this. Well mom drinks Fuzz Banana Colada. And eats Kiwi gold, or kiwi, Asian pears, the brown ones.Mango and lychee nuts. This is her main likes. Some banana's Dragon Fruit. this is what she likes and who am I to not give mom what she likes.
This is why I need to be close to her. So I can do this. Instead of begging for help, for y;'all. which is making me feel guilty. Well not really. Mom needs me to be their for here. Otherwise she has no one. I see this with every other patient their. Family does not come or has come once or twice. These are your loved one's who raised you. Come on now. Get a grip.
2846 Glen Drive Coquitlam BC V3B-0A4 604.552.0557 Kris Schmuland
I think I will go now. I need to get to bed. I don't want to stay up. If I can't eat.
So
GOD Bless and good night.
I still have to write the Russian girl and tell her not to come. I will be very polite.And who knows maybe we can still write. That would be nice. If I had my own place and money. I would, well maybe invited her. But she invited herself. Well she told me she was coming and then the guilt trip about how nice it would be for that first meeting at the airport. Then the whole Visa came up and giving her my address and phone number thing. A little to suspect for me. I have only written her a dozen times maybe that. And she tells me she loves me. That I am the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with. I can't even talk on the phone with her. She tells me the only computer is at her work. It is a very little village she is in. If it is true. I just have a very hard time believing in this. As we Canadians know. There are allot of women who will do or say anything to get to Canada and then good bye they are gone.
Zulfiya found me on Craigslist.
So I have to let her down. Really, If I got my own place right away and was able to furnish it and had money to show her around. Yea I wold probably have her come over. Because you never know if you don't take a chance in life.
Hell my first wife was from the states. I guess my second can be from another country. I can't seem to find the women here in Canada. I have to look outside of this country. LOL :)
Kris
