Hello again
Today, I need to make a decision, well several decisions. And it is really stressing me out. I have no one to discus this with. I guess I should of been nicer to my old friends. Ok! I do get it. But I still need to make the decision to move to White Rock. I have looked at places, two to be exact. And I have a few more to look at.
My problem is I have absolutely nothing to move into it. No furniture, no living room, bedroom or kitchen furniture. Or even office furniture. Nothing where I live is mine, I do not even have kitchen things, as in dishes, pots and pans, cutlery. Or towels, sheets, oven mitts. A can opener. Knives, kitchen utensils. I need everything. And when I say everything I mean everything. No TV, stereo. Oh yea I have this computer, that I put together from other old computers. This is something though.
I do have in mind one place, a block away. I have to call this other place which a block away as well. I want to move to White Rock. I can not deal with the doctors, take mom to the physiotherapist, etc....
from Coquitlam. I need to be as close as possible. This way I can get their right away, if there is any kind of problem. You understand.
I have adsaac to get going. I need to get healthy. Speaking of this. Now the travelling is starting to hurt me physically. My right leg is starting to go numb, then it is very much in pain and then shakes like crazy and it wont stop. I have to stand up and this helps. But at first, it was only when I was almost home, now it starts not much after I start my journey. Even as I write this my leg is bothering me. I am up trying to walk and I am not doing this very well. My leg is not supporting my weight. Just great.
On top of all of this. I am completely broke, again, as usual. I ask that you all pray that something happens soon. I do feel that this is the right decision and I should be moving to White Rock.
I pray the entire time I am on the bus, train and bus. All the way their and back. I just don't know the answer.
The PGT is not going to help me, just as usual. They say something and then don't act on it. This is when I really do need a miracle. This is when I need help.
On top of this I have been writing with this women from Russia. And it has only been about a month. Now she is telling me that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. And she is getting a vacation and wants to come to Vancouver to see me. And stay as long as I want her to stay.
I cant even manage my own life, let alone have someone come from another country and want to spend her life with me. I don't even want to spend my life with myself. I don't know what to say to her. I did not hear from her for a few days and I thought she had given up on me. But today I received two emails from her. I have not even read them yet.
I need to make decisions and I don't see her as being a part of them. Yes I would like to meet her and have someone to show around this beautiful city. But today I have asked GOD to give me an answer and please help me to move to White Rock and get furniture and everything else. This women is very beautiful. But I don't know if I am ready for anything.
I have to go. I am stressed out and I am in serious pain
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
