Hello again
I would like to start by saying that it is a horrible thing about the hockey player. Depression is a tough thing. People don't believe you even have a problem or they just don't even listen to you. Or even care. People don't actually take the time to even see the sign's of when someone is in trouble or even care.
It is a shame. But I do understand completely. As I have depression and a serious case of it too. I take 4 different types of medication everyday. And two of those are the highest dose that one can have. It is hard for me to even get by.
I do say this though. It is a good sign that something is up when one is always in a good mood. It is not natural. These are serious sign's of someones level of depression. As with me., it seems I am always in a good mood, but under the fake smile, I am hurting, and hurting deeply.
If it were not for my mother and her needing me. I would of been gone along time ago. And if one were to go off his or her medication for a few days, then this is when trouble is near. All it takes is a few days off one's medication and that is it. Say bye bye.
And the second thing on my mind tonight is the news story of the man who conned people out of a million dollars by saying he was dying of cancer.
Now my mother is actually dieing of lung cancer and is not being treated for it. As I have two sisters and I was out voted on whether or not she gets treatment Mom also has Dementia and is dieing of this as well. And none of know which will take her first.
Now I have not even received a $5.00 bill for help to fight her disease and with legal bill to get her out of Riverview. How can this asshole who pretends to have cancer get a million dollars and my mother who actually is dieing can get nothing from all of you. What is this guy doing that I am not doing to get that kind of money.
I could sue the PGT and Riverview and win with that kind of money. I could get my mother discharged from Riverview with that kind of money. Why donate to him. When my mother needs help now. While she is still alive. And maybe with that kind of help. I can get specialized treatment for my mother and maybe stop the cancer from spreading and maybe help reduce the on set of her Dementia.
Getting mom on a Alternative treatment plan. That has worked for so many people. There are so many safe and alternative treatments that I would love to have mom on. That will help her lung cancer and help stave of her Dementia. Treatments that I have researched and spoke to the individuals that are in charge of these treatments.
But I cannot afford them. Neither can she. Medical does not cover them either. I have been in constant contact with these Doctors and trying to figure out a way of paying for them. One is a PET scan, to see mom actually has Dementia. This alone costs $1500.00 per scan. And it goes up from there.
So I am just wondering what I need to do to get the help this guy did. But my problems are real. And not made up.
I know I am just blabbering now. But that is OK.
So these two issues are very real in my life. I am seriously depressed, yet I am here because I need to take care of my mother. As she has no one. And I promised my father on his death bed that I would take care of her and not let anything happen to her. To fight for her rights. And not let her end up like him, dieing in a seniors home. With no one around him. Well I was their, thank GOD for that. I listened to him and said my good byes and told him that, yes we had problems, but I loved him and respected him. He was a good man and I did listen to his advice. My father was a very strong man. And I have to live up to his dying wish. And this is what I am trying to do.
But it is hard. I started the organization adsaac.ca to help people. And up until July 14, of this year I was starting to make money. Money that I thought I could use to get the treatments for mom. Since this bus accident I have lost over, well many thousand of dollar. I have no phone, no nothing. I can't even clean my home because it hurts to much. It hurts to take the bus. My mother is moving to White Rock in a month and I have to take the bus 2 hours their and then back. I started this company to make a difference. I was and now, it is all on hold. Yes I will help these people when I am better. But in the mean time. I cannot take the bus and walk to each clients homes. I would be in to much pain to actually do the job and concentrate on doing it right.
This is my way of doing what is right. To help people and help my mother. To make enough money to get the treatments for mom.
Anyways it is1:00am and I have to have my dinner. Tonight it is just crackers. That is all I have left. Oh well. I like crackers. I thought I had a treat. While I was out for a walk I found a container wrap in a bag that had, what I thought was chicken and rice. But it was pork, and anyways there were ants on it.
Yes there is no pride left in this body, person or whatever.
I love my mother and I will not do anything to myself, because I made the promise to my father. And whatever it takes I will live up to that promise.
GOD Bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Oh yea if you are not going to help me out financially, could you at least pray that GOD provides the funds I need to help mom with her treatments.
