Hello again
Well today is day 4 or maybe day 5 of not eating and I have had absolutely nothing for these four or five days. I mean nothing. I have had many cups of tea. And now I have none of that left either. Yes before not eating at all. For a week prior to this. I was living on dry bread and dry crackers.
Let me see now. I lost my ability to concentrate yesterday. And today I have had to ask everyone I spoke with to repeat themselves three or four times. I am punch drunk. And today my vision is starting to be affected. I need glasses to see up close. But I noticed that distance is blurry today.
I realized that I have never gone this long without food before. So I will describe to you what it feels like and what happens to me as the days go on. What the side effects are. And when my legs give out. On top of this I am in extreme pain.
Well my mother new as well that I have not been eating. She notice that my face was getting thinner. And she was pressuring me to tell her. I cannot lie to her. But I did say it is OK as I do believe in GOD and my GOD will not leave me nor forsake me. In other words HE shall supply all my needs. So I told her it is OK and I will be alright and things will work out. Tomorrow is another day.
So I don't eat for awhile. I get to experience something different. Something new to me.
Ok mom tonight was actually hungry, that was good, she ate the rest of what I had for her. And I did not have a drink for her. And now I have nothing for her. At all. Period. I don't know what I am going to do tomorrow. Ok today. Since it is 12:26 Monday.
They, the staff pissed me off again. They are to take mom to the bathroom before I get their. And of course they did not. Oh well I took her myself. The washroom is right their,. outside of the ward. Then I sang to her some more. We listen to vocal standards. As in Ella, Frank, Billy, Fred. etc... I can sing to this. And if I don't say so myself. I am getting pretty good. My voice is deep and I cannot sing rock.
Mom is upset that she can't get out and do this. I take her out side all the time. But it is not enough. She want;s to get off the property. I don't blame her. I want to be able to take mom to the park or out for dinner. Or even bring mom over here to my place and have something to eat.
Her tooth/ teeth are bothering her. And I have to make an appointment so she can get this done before she moves.And about that it really pisses me off that it is happening.
I need to speak with the people at Oceanside, Yet I cannot. I have no phone. I have so many calls that need to be made today, and I cannot make them. Oceanside, ICBC, Translink. This is important so I can get some needed cash. As I am loosing money everyday.
I started my business to help people. So the same thing that my mother is going through does not happen to other families. And to fight for the abuse to end. I have pages and pages of plans for adsaac. Everyone tells m to get a job. Well I think this is better.
I was making money up until July 14, when I was injured on the bus, and to date nothing. I had and have many families waiting for me to get better. I just want to get back to the way it was before July 14. At least I could walk all over the place. Yea I used a cane. But I could walk to see mom and back. It hurts to walk to the bus stop and sitting is extremely uncomfortable. It takes forever for me to find and position to sleep.
Writing this, I have to take breaks and find a comfortable place to sit or even stand. The chair that I chose to use for the computer is now uncomfortable. And the chair outside that was so comfortable is now impossible to sit on.
So I sit on my left cheek and have my leg stretched out to be comfortable. So far it has taken me over an hour to get this far. And not eating is putting a complete damper on writing this blog. I cannot concentrate.
Oh yea I have said in the past I am going to turn this into a book. Well I found a place to do this. And the tittle is going to be My mothers and my journey through Dementia. There should be at least to books.
Well that is a long way off. I have to get adsaac running. I am writing to many companies to assist me with adsaac. Other agencies who are involved in this. Research into Alzheimer's and Dementia.
I can go on and on.But I am done. I cannot go on today. I am done. I cannot keep standing. I have a huge headache.
GOD Bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
