Hello again
It was an OK day. I went and volunteered at a local community dinner. This I did at Christmas time. I enjoyed speaking with the staff and volunteers. But I didn't eat dinner as it was ham and I don't eat pork. I had a salad. I am waiting for my dinner now. By the time I finish this it should be done, having to take breaks and all.
As I was going there by bus, I was speaking with someone and this lady, beside us, just started freaking out and telling us to stop speaking about that. We were speaking about mental illness.
I arrived home at 9 and have been just sitting and then got bored. Out for a walk I went.
The one thing I have to say is I am extremely bored. I haven't been out of White Rock for a few months. I mean downtown Vancouver. I was just in Surrey today. I am going stir crazy. It is almost impossible to just sit. Even though my doctor tells me to rest and don't do anything to harsh or difficult. But everything involves lifting and bending. But this is painful for me. Again, pain is just that, pain. I have had so much pain in my life that it is just part of my day. Doesn't mean I don't feel it deeply, and that is doesn't bother me greatly. Which it does.
I am so, I don't know, but I am getting emotional at TV shows I have been watching. Yes tearing up. It is weird. Well it is depression and it is coming out in an obvious way. I am messed up.
I can't keep paying this rent. I need a place that is cheaper. Which I might have found. I am not going to say to much I don't want to curse the plan.
I just ask that you pray that I get the financial miracle I need to pay up my rent. I don't want to screw my landlord over for past rent. I want to catch up on the rent before I move out. And I need cash to move.
But please pray I get this subsidize place and I get the financial miracle to pay all of the rent at the place where I now live.
Thank you for your prayers. I need them. I need to move this place is just sucking me down the drain. Thanks to my ex roommate moving out. Just throwing everything at rent and not having anything left over for even groceries. Thank GOD for the food bank, otherwise I would of been starving. But no bus fare or anything else I can't even go for a tea with anyone. Well a new female friend. That is so bad that I can't even afford to buy this women a coffee. Pretty bad isn't it. That is the way I have been living for months now. And it is becoming really difficult. I feel that I am loosing it.
So please understand where I am coming from. And that is nothing. We all need to go somewhere.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
