It is not always............

Hello again

I need to say that not all of my days are filled with depression. Throughout my days, I do have good moments that make me feel I am OK. Not allot of them, but some.

On Monday I went, after my counseling session, to the Elder Advocacy office. I spoke with this nice women about getting involved. As well as the work I have already done., Plus the organization I would like to start ADSAAC  or The Mary Schmuland Foundation. The second could be a name that would honour my mother.

This is why I want to do what I have written about. To simply honour my mother. I did this for her, advocacy work, Fighting to make sure her rights were listened to, to make sure she was treated properly, and to make sure everyone understood that mom is going to be treated right or I will use my vast knowledge to get things done.

I have gained valuable experience throughout those years. And it should not be wasted. I should be using this knowledge to help other families. To speak out, to shout it to the roof tops, that there are problems within our care homes. Problems with the system.

I am going back to the Elder Advocacy office this Friday morning to pickup an manual that I wanted to get last year. As well as to speak further on how I can get involved. As well as the other services that are trying to be implemented in Vancouver.

This I know I can do without a doubt. Many years experience.

Now for the nonsense.   I was speaking with someone from the building today, and it seems that everyone thinks I am here to assist the lady in the Wheelchair. I am going to be straightening this out in a hurry.

I have been back for hours now and I have only been able to get a few things done.

As mentioned, as I get closer to White Rock and back here, the more stressed out I become and the more depressed I become.

I went to the library to read, just to be able to sit and not be interrupted.

I am still lost. I need to be on my own to actually have a desk where I can sit, uninterrupted, and get work done.

Don't get me wrong. She is a OK lady, but I am not here to look after her. I took care of my mother for many years and I am not prepared to look after someone else. I need to be taking care of myself.

I have to pay for the counselor. The money is coming from what I live on. I need to eat three times a day, so I can take my diabetes medication..This is a must. But I can't afford it.

I am still waiting for the diabetes clinic to call me. I will go to the doctors office tomorrow and find out what the wait is. I need to go to this clinic so I can get my glucose reader and the strips for it. Plus the bracelet I need to be wearing.

This is just a few of the thins I need.

What I need is time, more uninterrupted time. So I can try to find funding to start the organization. I guess I will use the library for this. At least the research part. Can't be speaking on the phone in the library.

Right now I feel OK, I am messed up and want to run away.

Please, at least pray for things to go right, and for me to find a place for October 1, in the White Rock South Surrey area

GOD bless and good night

Kris