Hello again
So today was the day that I realized I am going nowhere and getting there fast. I didn't want to be where I am living. So I left with no direction, but to go. I went nowhere and did nothing. OK if you call getting on a bus and doing a very large circle.
I went to Langley, then to Maple Ridge and then to Coquitlam. From there I went to downtown Vancouver. Once downtown, I needed to use the restroom. Washroom for the Canadians. Off to the Hotel I went, then jumped on a Skytrain back to Surrey. Went to WallMart and looked around. Back on a bus back to White Rock.
That killed 5 hours of doing nothing, talking to no one. Just riding the bus. That is not very healthy. I just can't sit here and deal with these people.
So I guess going nowhere and doing nothing, was a better choice of things to do today,
I even have a book which I borrowed from the library, and haven't started to read it yet. It is due, Wednesday. Guess I will be renewing it. I want to read it. I have and had plenty of time to do this, but I would rather do nothing. Just stare off into nowhere.
I thought I had some friends out here in White Rock, but I am mistaken. Every since last weekend, when I asked one of them to stop talking so I could tell him something. Then he hung up on me. Well that is that. I will not tolerate someone hanging up on me. He is a creature of habit. Goes to the same restaurant, daily, has the same things. I been there with him and it is $20.00 to eat at this place. And he goes everyday. He makes tips cutting hair in the barbershop. So he can afford it. I can eat for many days on $20.00. Lots of chicken for me. And fresh vegetables as well
Bu anyways, Since that day, last Sunday, he has not called or emailed me or even FB ,me/ He was to busy that day, spending it watching the fire we had in White Rock, taking pictures of it and posting it online. Not my cup of tea.
Not going to work as friends. So OK, I would rather be by myself than deal with a person who hangs up on someone and does not apologize for doing so.. Just rude.
Really I just want my own place, decorate it the way I want it. And just be left alone. Yes very dysfunctional one would say. And I do agree. This is, of course, the way I ideally would want it. But we need people in our lives. Told to me by most people and read in many articles and white papers from John's Hopkins, The Mayo Clinic, Berkeley Health. These are the articles I get emailed to me on a regular basis. Yes I receive many articles on Alzheimer's Dementia and strokes from these Universities as well. Even before I started to receive articles on Mental Health.
Research over the years for my mother. How to make her life better with each stage of her Disease. All of it helped, along with my own way of doing things. Things that I knew where the right way of taking care of someone with this illness.
I am not a stupid person. In fact I am very intelligent. I read white papers on a variety of subjects and always have. I study behavioral science and have for many years. Even before mom and dad became ill.
So once again I find myself being alone, this time by choice. And I feel this is a choice that I will be making often.
GOD bless and good night.
Please help me give mom a memorial service. Her ashes sit, waiting for something to happen. As you can see by what I wrote. I am in no position to do anything about it.
https://wwwgofundme.com/ka556fdk
Kristopher W.A.Schmuland
