Hello again
So now mom is going to be cremated tomorrow, sometime. Here is the catch, mom will not be put in an urn, she will be put into a bag and then put into a box. The box the funeral home has to store ashes.
Not the Coming Home urn, steel with doves flying on it. A beautiful teal colour. No! just a bag and box.
And mom is going to sit in the bag and box for a very long time, now. could be over a year before anyone even see's mom's ashes. A year minimum. She is going into probate and whenever probate is finished and all three of us agree what happens to mom's ashes. Mom will just sit in a bag and box.
And because of their attitude, it looks like mom could be in the bag and the box for many years to come.
That is it. Nothing more.
All because the two girls want everything there way. No to anything and everything. Yet where were they for the last 10 years of mom's life. Did they come and help take care of mom. Were they there for mom's last breath. Were they there holding her hand every night for 4 1/2 years. Did they even offer to help take care of mom.
The answer my friends is an absolute NO!. Yet they want everything there way.
The eldest has dad. So why can't I have mom. I have more of an attachment to mom than those two . I was the only one who cared enough to give up everything and just be there for her.
I put my life on hold. And I would do it again in a heart beat. Without reservations. Mom was my life.I put mom first and sacrificed for her. Actually none of it was a sacrifice. It was what needed to be done.
You see I will say this again and again. I know what it is like to be alone and lonely. And I was not about to let mom just sit there by herself with no one to talk to or anything. To just look out the window, wandering where everyone is and thinking,when is this going to end.
Mom looked for me everyday. She knew when I was coming. The staff even noticed this.
Mom and I had many conversations over the years. So she could not speak, doesn't mean she couldn't communicate.
RESPECT AND DIGNITY is what mom deserves.
So now because the two girls wanted everything there way, mom sits. They don't get there necklaces with mom's fingerprint on it. The rest don't get their keepsakes. There will be no service for mom. Or for mom and dad.
NOTHING
If they left it alone, The service would be tomorrow at 1:30 pm followed by a reception at 2:30 pm
They had to get greedy, save a buck. So they can have more at the end. And it will take over a year to even see anything from the estate. If there will be anything left after the lawyers are through.
How disrespectful can anyone be. This is what they are about. And guess what, now look what they did.
NO SERVICE
NO KEEPSAKES
NO CELEBRATION OF MOM'S LIFE
NO URN
NO MOM!
I have not even had time to morn for my mother. To busy dealing with this nonsense.
Today I was up really early. I needed to be somewhere first thing in the morning. I needed to make calls to the PGT and find out what time I can pick up a copy of mom's will. To ask what is in storage. The two prints that were mom and dads better be in the storage. Along with the trunk of photo's of mom and dad. As well as dad's metals from his service in WWII. As well as a few other things.
Again, none of it will be released until the will has been probated and it goes through a lawyer to execute the will. I will not agree to either them doing this...
Then after this morning meeting, I needed to jump on the bus and get out to Maple Ridge to meet the funeral director to sign the release and cremation order. Then back to Coquitlam to see if the funds I was looking for were approved. They weren't. That was a two and a half hour trip. Just to go out there and sign some documents. Then off to New Westminster for an hour, back to Coquitlam for a few minutes. Then I needed to go the library to print out this letter for an application to an apartment in White Rock. This I will dropping off tomorrow afternoon. After I go into Vancouver.Then back here
So on top of being alone, I have nothing.
The only way I get to say anything, express my feelings, is through this blog.
I see the counselor on Monday.
But tomorrow I will call the funeral director ands see if we can at least get mom an urn. This Coming Home urn, was agreed upon by all three parties. So do it now, before the funds are not available anymore.
I will see if I can pull off this miracle. At least mom will have a nice urn. So she can sit by herself in well, somewhere.
I just don't get it. They have dad. At least I could get mom until we all decide what to do with both of them. Well I am going to, somehow, have them interned where grandma and grandpa are buried. At Ocean View Cemetery. .
Not the we will do something with them As the girls so bluntly stated. Again not including me in the decision on where mom and dad's final resting place will be.
Very selfish people. And look what has happened because of there I want everything my way attitude. Mom is lost to us for an unspecified time.
She was not alone when she passed away, but now mom is alone. By herself. I would be having mom on my dresser and talking to her daily. Not in the closet where my sister has my father's ashes. So I have been told.
I have to stop now. I am beat and need to try to figure out what I can eat. To busy writing, I forgot to put my clothes in the dryer. I guess I will be up longer than I expected.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
