Hello again
I can honestly say that I am in denial over my diagnosis. I have been walking around today, saying to myself that I don't have Parkinson's, I don't have Parkinson's. I can't have Parkinson's. So I have not moved on past denial yet. I have not told anyone. Except I have written it down here. So I guess I have told all who have read my blog in the last week or so. But no one else. The reality is there is no one to tell. I have no friends. They all left me years ago. Some because I look after my mother and this is what I feel, I should say I know this is what I should be doing. The others, I just didn't care. And still don't care. I tried to contact them, but they didn't return my calls. I will try someone three times and if they don't return my calls by then. I stop calling. Period. And I am not going to tell any of the staff where mom is. They don't care. In fact it might make things worse. They might think I am not capable of taking care of my mother. I just have a resting tremor and sometimes my right hand doesn't work properly. Other than that I am fine.
It is not very often one gets an opportunity to do something that matters with their lives. And I have such an opportunity. I will not be the one looking back and crying because I should of spent more time with my parent before they passed away. No I will be the one crying because I lost a parent that I loved and cared for. You all know someone who has serious regrets after their mother or father passed away. That is not me. Many, many people think I am not doing the right thing with my life. But I really don't care. This is what I have to do. I feel it deep down in my soul. I have the time because of my disabilities and now having Parkinson's.
Yes I would like to thank the person from Brunei who has read my Blog. I can say that I was and still am ignorant of knowledge of your country. If you should read this again. Please write, I would really like to know more about your country. In fact I would like to know more about each country from all who read this Blog,
You don't get an accurate assessment of one's country from reading it Online. It is surprising the different opinion of someone's country from speaking with a citizen.
OK Mom is doing well. Happy to see me and hold my hand. I din't write last night just to depressed.
Now it is Friday and another day to wash and style her hair. I did a great job tonight. Mom looked beautiful when I was done. This doesn't mean she doesn't look beautiful all the time.
I arrive a little bit early. I brought a nice meal, The usual, get mom something to drink as soon as possible. Mom is always so parched when I arrive. I don't think they give her anything to drink all afternoon. I am going to ask them this. And make sure mom is getting plenty of liquids through out the day.
I stayed latter this evening, as I just wanted to spend more time with mom. I didn't care what time it was when I got home. Didn't do to bad.
Mom was very happy with her hair doo. And she was very relaxed afterwards, but not asleep like she is allot of times. It was very warm in this place tonight. I had to open mom's window when I got there. Fresh air is always good for everyone. Especially mom, who doesn't really get any if I don't take her out side. Another reason I need to be living there.
I really hate coming back her each night. Really hate it. And I don't hate much.
So when done with mom's hair this evening. I just got her changed and the care aid came in to put her into bed. Perfect timing.
After this, the usual spa treatment. Then gave mom more to drink. And stood there holding her hand and talking with her. Mom was still awake, but just wanted to hold my hand close to her and listen to me speak with her.
So, so beautiful it is!
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
