Hello again
So it has been 4 days since I found out I have Parkinson's Disease and I am still not ready to accept this or deal with it. I have, however, had the prescription filled. It is in my bag, so I have it with me all the time. That is if I wish to start taking it. When I picked the prescription up I had some question for the pharmacist about drug interaction. While speaking with the pharmacist, I noticed the pharmacy assistants looking over at me. They knew why I was getting this drug. They didn't look happy for me and the pharmacist either. He kept apologizing to me. At this point all I have is to just let it digest. Come to terms with it. I almost broke down in the drug store today. I could feel a few drops of tears trickling down my face. I stopped that in a hurry. I am not ready to deal with this yet. Who knows I may have my moment of acceptance this evening. I have almost cried a few times tonight. But not in front of mom. I will never tell mom about this.
Now I also had to have another CT scan done today, so I was out there early. It only took 10 minuets to get the CT scan done. Then I needed to wait until 4 pm for this deli to open so I could get the rest of mom's dinner.
As soon as 4 pm hit I was at the deli and got what was needed and headed off to mom's After all of this I got there not as early as I thought I would.
But mom was in bed. Apparently mom had an accident and was put into bed at 2 pm. I really don't like it when they do this. She didn't even get her hair done today, because of this.
Well we did have a good dinner. During the dinner though, I fed mom something and she started to cough. This caused mom to choke. I was freaked out. I rubbed her throat, then leaned her forward as much as I could, being in bed, and patted her back. It took 10 minutes to get her back to normal. Breathing normal. Mom was breathing throughout the whole ordeal, but choking none the less.
Finally mom was able to take some water. Maybe it wasn't 10 minutes. It seemed like a long time. I let her rest, gave her some more to drink and rubbed her throat more. She was okay. Thank GOD.
She was okay, she wanted her dessert. The papaya and her chocolates. I did feed her very slowly, so she didn't choke anymore.
When the LPN came in I informed her of this, so she would keep and eye open. Just in case. One never knows.
I hugged mom and then proceeded to give her the nightly spa treatment. I know mom looks forward to this. And especially since I added the neck massage to the routine.
Mom was tired though. And she just wanted to sleep. And wanted me to go. Mom lets me know when it is time for me to go. She doesn't do this often, but once in a while.
I did leave. I got home early, but here it is 11 pm and I still have a few things to do, before I sit down and watch something.
Please pray that I find a place in White Rock. Especially now. I need to be closer.
I am upset. OK pissed off that I have this. No cure for Parkinson's. Just treatment. But treatment by taking drugs that have side effects.
GOD bless and good night
Now is the time I feel GOD should be blessing me. Since everyone tells me GOD will bless you. Well it is time. The worse part of this is, I have no one to talk with about this nor do I have anyone to help me with this. It is going to be a very lonely journey. My doing I guess.
Kristopher Schmuland
