Hello again
I am not a perfect individual. I have faults, many faults, if one would say. I can't be faulted for what I am doing for my mother. So give it a rest, to the individuals who tell me I am nothing. I can say that if it were not for taking care of my mother. I would be less than nothing. But I have been happily taking care of my mother for many, many years.
I know my mother is going down hill. She is stable for now. But there will come a time when this will change. And I will be there for this as well. I will be there supporting mom. Right there by her side, without reservations. I will be there taking care of her, holding her hand, telling her it is okay. That I am here and will not be going anywhere. I know that day will come.
In the mean time, do I let her sit in isolation. Or do I continue to do what is the most important thing anyone should do. Look after their parent. Do whatever it takes to make sure they are well taken care of . And you know what. ( Yes I know what, they live down the street between why and when) to bad if you have a family and family responsibilities. That your wife or husband doesn't want you to take so much time taking care of your parent. Did they say, I don't have time to look after you when you were an infant, of taking you to soccer practice or anything you did when you were growing up. I don't think so.
So why is it that these homes are filled with very lonely seniors. Who, by the way, have family, that can give up some of their time to be there for their parent everyday.
I was going to write, Sure not everyday, as you have things to do. Bullshit! Nothing is more important than being there for someone who make sacrifices for you. And was always there for you. Suck it up. And do the right thing. I even here allot of these family members who claim to be Christian. Doesn't GOD, HIMSELF, say to honor your mother and father. It means whatever it takes you are to be taking care of them. Not coming up with excuses as to why you can't be there or why I can't stay long.
But it's not my mother anymore. Yes it is. Just a little different and guess what they have a illness a disease of the mind. That for all accounts, there is not cure. Or it is just old age. But it is still one's parent.
I have the right to say these thing. I am there and I have taken care of my father and am now taking care of my mother. And I travel many kms to do this. With no help from anyone. At all. Not even a coffee or help with finding a place. Nothing. Yes I do ask from time to time. And the reason I ask is I have never trusted a single person. I trust no one. I keep thinking that there could be people out there who are the kind of people who do things for other's. Not just at Christmas. But alas, I am let down once again.
There are no people who care about other's.
I don't expect people to do what I do. I am the exception to the rule. My mother is my Hero, to bravely go through what she is going through. . My mother knows I am going to be there everyday. And I am the one who is there when she closes her eye's for the night. Holding her hand.
Now finding out I have this disease and there is no cure for this as well. I haven't dealt with it and I don't think I can.
Now over the last few days mom has been tired. Still from the medication they gave her before she went to the dentist. To keep her calm. And not lashing out. To lash out is the only way mom can express herself. As they don't take the time to read her. Mom speaks volumes without having to say anything.
But mom has been eating as she can. It is also Friday today and mom seems to be very tired on Fridays. For some strange reason. But mom ate as much as she could, But to tired to have her hair washed and styled today. I always ask and mom does respond to my questions. And today it was no, and no to the full spa treatment.
Mom just needed to go to bed and know she is taken care of . It was that simple.
I did everything I normally do, everyday. And than off I went. To a journey that I know I am going to get more stressed out as I get closer to were I stay. I stay, is the key word. It is not my home. I don't have a home. I just stay here.
I would be so nice to have an actual home. Even renting an apartment. I can still call this home. I am day dreaming about this now. All of my packed things need to be in the place where they should be. I am tired of living out of boxes. I mean that I have to have all of what little cook wear in my room. So it doesn't get destroyed. If I need something, I need to run back and forth to my room to get something. It is a hassle.
Mom has been coughing allot lately. So I have been rubbing Noxema on her upper chest to help keep her chest warm. And maybe help with the coughing.
I will keep this up. And if it does not improve in the next few weeks I will take her to the doctors.
Now time to go again.
Please continue, if one does, pray for mom and I. That I find a place as soon as possible.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
