Hello again
I need to say this. Mom has a terminal disease! There is no cure for Alzheimer's/Dementia. All who develop it, pass away. It may be in two years or 10 - 20 years, but they pass away.
It is not a pretty thing. One forgets everything, including how to take a breath. To be able to chew, swallow.
It is a lonely disease. Your family abandons you. They stick you in a home and forget you exist. These are the things our loved one's have to deal with, everyday.
No one come to visit. I see this everyday. There is only a hand full of individuals that come to see their loved one's. And most of them don't come all that often.
OK I am unusual in the fact that I am their every single day. Without fail. And I don't stop going for any reason what so ever.
I just wish I can do more for mom. Allot more. Get her out, more often.
I wish I can live very close by to her. Now I live 3 hours by bus. If something where to happen to mom, in the middle of the night. I would not be able to get there until the morning. And this would crush me, and also bother mom.
Mom is the only one, on this planet who actually cares about me and loves me. And she knows I would do anything for her. She counts on me being their everyday.
I won't let her down. Never, never and never. I don't care.
I just wish I lived closer to her. I really can't live here anymore. I just hate living here. I dislike my roommates. I dislike living with drunks.
I don't drink or do drugs. I can't be around this.
Anyways I need to go, I am stressed out and tired. Plus I am sick of eating nothing. living on prayers.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
