Hello again
So today was just another day. I got up and got ready to go. And left. All I did was to stop and get mom some things.
It is mom's birthday this Saturday. And well I am not sure now how old she is. The home tells me she was born in 1928, I thought she was born in 1930 and the PGT tells me it is 1929. So mom will be either 83,84, or 85. I have some ID of her's packed in a box. So I am not sure which box it is in.
Anyways I picked up some fall decorations. Large and small leaves that I put up on mom's wall. Plus a Happy Birthday banner. I will try to get more fall decorations. And I also pick up more Birthday stuff.
I just have to get a few more things for her Birthday and it should be good.
I brought mom a chicken wrap today. She enjoyed this.
I washed mom's hair after dinner and this made her extremely happy. I styled it nicely. Put her to bed and then our nightly spa treatment.
I am becoming even more depressed. I don't want to live here anymore, I can't wait to find a place and move. I need to be living in White Rock before Christmas.
I refuse to clean up after these people anymore and the house is becoming a pig sty. I am not enjoying myself anymore.
The only thing I look forward to each day is seeing mom and taking care of her.
I had to tell the story of quiting drinking and smoking pot to someone the other day and it brought back to many painful memories. But I am so greatful that I did quit. I needed to take care of my parents and I couldn't do this being a drunk and pot head. And loosing someone I actually loved helped as well.
I am done for the night. I have been tired, OK, I have been tired because I am so depressed. I am loosing my communication ability. I don't speak with anyone. I go days without having a conversation with someone. I am becoming more and more quite.
I have so much to do, but the depression is getting the best of me. Which causes me to do nothing about these things.
This is the only place where I actually communicate anything. Sad isn't it. That I have no one which I can speak with.
I met this women on the bus the other day, but I couldn't think of anything to say. Or just couldn't communicate it to her. I got off the bus and that was that. She did all the talking.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
