Hello again
I have been having a little bit of depressive issues of late. I feel lonely. It is a hard role being a caregiver. I love every bit of it. I love taking care of my mother. But I do feel lonely at times. Over the years the friends I had slowly diminished to none existent friends. They either don't know how to deal with what I do, or the disease it's self.
It is a hard road to travel by one's self, without help. I will never give up doing what I am doing for my mother. It is the right thing to do.
I do, at times, just feel like staying in bed. But I won't do that my mother. Whatever I am feeling, I have to remember that mom is their by herself.. All day long, each and everyday. She doesn't get to go outside, unless I take her out. And living so far away, that is even difficult. And I feel very guilty about not being able to get mom out and about.
This is why I wish I lived closer, in White Rock. So I can do these things with mom. It is all that I want now. To be living in White Rock in a place of my own. To be able to have mom over for lunch or dinners. Or just to come over and watch a movie together.
Wouldn't that be nice and a good time for my mother. I do think it would be. I do try and try to find a place. The money I make it not enough and I do express this in the ad I have on line for a place. But nothing so far. OK so far, has been well over a year and a half now. And this in it's self is very depressing to me. I know mom wants me to be living in White Rock. Mom would like it if I could stay later and hold her hand until she falls asleep. I try, but I have to get on a bus to get home before midnight. It makes for a very long day. I have no time to do other things. I just have time to write this blog, have a little to eat and relax for an hour.
But, again, it is now midnight and I need to just relax and sleep.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I do welcome all to my blog. All of the different individuals of the many countries that read this little blog. Thank you
