Hello again
Thanks Sandy for your comment
Let me touch base on the lonely issue again. I know what lonely is and I just can't have my mother feeling this way. Yes I get lonely and I don't have to many conversations with other through out my weeks. But at least I can go out and get around. Mom cannot.
So no matter how lonely I am feeling or get. And it gets bad at times. I know mom is stuck where she is. And it is my job as her son to keep her company, and look after her, so she doesn't feel so lonely. OK, mom requires my full attention while I am their at her home. And it is OK as well. She only gets this kind of attention for a few hours each day. 3 or 4 and only from me.
She has other family members, but they are not their or even give a crap. But will write negative things about me.
Again it is none of my business what others think about me. Maybe this contributes to my loneliness, maybe not. I have to live this way.
Now about what I was saying about myself in the last blog. I don't have a relationship with anyone.
I can say this. I am attractive to many, I am in decent shape, yes I have my physical disabilities. Emotionally I am OK, though I have depression issues. Psychologically, again depression. I have a good education.
What stops me from pursuing relationships, is I am broke, and this stops me from having a girlfriend. Lets face it, no one my age is going to want anything to do with me. I cannot do anything for them. Can't take someone out for dinner or even a movie. I can barely afford coffee.
Most people, including my family, would say that I am a looser. That is OK. I consider myself poor, but I am doing the right thing, by taking care of mom. I go without all the time. But so did my parents, raising me and their daughters. I am glad I have this time with mom and the time I had with my dad, before he passed away.
At this point I only have the one wish, to find a place in White Rock I can afford. I would like to drive again. Only a pipe dream at this point. And maybe a flat screen TV and a decent stereo. But I would take the place in White Rock.
I have absolutely nothing, I don't live on my own. Though I am trying to find a place in White Rock on my own. I just have to find a place I can afford. Right now, I don't even have time for anything. I travel 7 hours a day. I spend 3 or 4 hours a day with my mother. OK I have a few hours in the morning to make some calls to deal with issues concerning mom. And in my travels I stop and get mom's daily items. Fresh fruit and drinks, snacks etc.... etc.....
Mom, today, was very tired, but she ate allot. This is a very good thing. But mom was also clear that she doesn't want to have the other women as a roommate anymore.
I am done with mom's sleep being disturbed like it is every night. Time to file a formal complaint. Can't do anything with the PGT as they don't care.
Now on the Frontline episode tonight it was titled Life and death in assisted living. About how most people put their trust in the homes their loved one's are in.
Now I can say for a fact that they all lie to the children, they lie about what medications their loved one's are on. The care is modest at best.
I have seen to much and I don't trust any of them. You have to go into any of these homes with open eyes and not trust what any of them say or do. And you have to be extremely proactive about everything to do with your loved one's. You have to be on these staff members all the time.
I have stood with picket signs, I have handed out flyer's. I have been very vocal about everything. I don't get mad I just tell them the way it is . This you have to do, and do it all the time.
My mother is worth any inconvenience I may go through.
Well again it is now 12:20 and time to go to bed.
GOD bless and good night.
Pray that I find a place in White Rock I can afford and/or the funds to help me out.
Kris Schmuland
