Hello again Day 9 or 10
I am sorry I didn't write yesterday, as on the way home, I passed out on the sky train. And ended up in St. Pauls Hospital. They wanted to do allot of tests, but I explained that it was just from not eating. They told me that I need to eat. I replied, well then get me groceries.
We can't do that. Then I am leaving now, and got up, got dressed and left. I was able to catch the last bus home.
Don't worry I never mentioned this to mom. This is the second time in a year that I ended up in the hospital. I did, however have to promise them I would go see my doctor. Which I need to do anyways. I am not feeling well. I am loosing to much weight lately. And not eating. I have the type 1 diabetes or type 2 I am never sure. The one which is controlled by diet. And because of the way I am living, I need to have a full blood workup.
So I do have to say that the case manager of the PGT is not all bad. We do have our disagreements. As one would expect when I am only concerned about mom and nothing else.
Mom is not hungry that much on the weekend. This has been a usual situation with her. Tonight, she was so tired and barely ate anything. She just wanted to go to bed. This is 6 pm when I put her in her bed. I am getting her ready now. So the only thing the staff has to do is change her. I put her nightly on and put her in bed. Mom wants it this way and has no problem with me doing this. I would never change this for anything. That my mom trusts me enough to put her into her night gown. The staff asked me if I could put her night gown on her, It is hard for them when mom is in bed. She fidgets.
She trusts me, The only person in the world who actually cares. And I am so glad of our relationship. Mom needs me and I need her. I put the phone on her chest, so she can, not only listen to the music, but feel it as well.
She holds my hand the entire time I am with her. I am crying just thinking about it. I have never felt love like this before. I guess I have been a very cold person. And mom has made me see things allot different.
She is all smiles once I get their.
And today, her aunt, my great aunt and her daugther were their today. It has been a long time since mom has seen her aunt. They were more like sisters. They are only 5 years a part in age. My mothers sister.
She only lives 5 blocks away now. And now that the weather is getting nicer, I can take mom down the street to see her. Just push her down the street.
So I am extremely tired and need to go to bed. I have to get up early.
I really need to get to White Rock. But I need everything. I don't even have my own bed, dresser or anything else that one needs for a place. Even if I were to find a shared accommodation I still need everything.
I have found a place, which has a separate living room for me to use. So a bedroom and a living room as well. The owner, has the main living room. But I have nothing to put into it. I really have absolutely nothing. I mean nothing.
I digress, I need to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
