Hello Ocean Side, The PGT and River View
Well today it is an adventure getting to and from White Rock. I have decided that the Vancouver route is the one for me. Ok it is a little longer, but comfort and not having to deal with someone bleeding or drunk or scanks, is worth the extra 1/2 hour. And I get to see some of the bus drivers that I know, when I come back from Vancouver.
I don't know what to say. I am bagged out. well not really. It is the fact I leave at 1pm and get back at 11pm and I get to spend 3 hours with mom. Which is a good thing
Our routine is all out of wack. Mom is use to having dinner than go to the bathroom and then have fruit and drinks before I give her, her nightly beauty treatment.
What I do need is GOD to help me out so I can get a place out their in White Rock. I can't do the moving in with strangers thing anymore. It is bad enough her now. I live with a drunk who just won't clean. And cleaning for me is extremely difficult. But I do it as I like a clean house and then I suffer from the pain.
I will continue to go out their to see mom, with out complaining, But I feel I would like to live in a different place. Besides Coquitlam. But I need real serious help to move to White Rock. None of this few hundred dollars.This is not going to do anything for me.
What I need is GOD to grant me a miricle. Not just any ordinary miricle, but a huge one. Something like winning the lottery. So I can get a place out their and a car/suv. Plus furniture. As I have absolutly none. I mean nothing, not even dishes or cutlery. I have shorts, one pair of boat shoes and then suits, dress shirts and ties. Nothing in between. I don't even have socks. I am not asking for anything. I am just mentioning that today in the rain, I noticed that I have no socks. And I know I have no jeans, as they just disenterated. I had them so long. Remember mom is first and I am last. All my money, if and when I get some. Will go to mom and her needs. As no one is doing this. I am the only one suppling clothing for her. wether buying it new or giving her mine. Which I do all the time.
Well I only have a few casual shirts left. And one wind breaker jacket. I have given mom everything she wants of mine and will continue to do so gladly. If mom wants something I am wearing I will give it to her without even a secound thought. I have given her the clothes right off my back. And you know what. It made me feel great, fantastic. That was the best feeling ever, being able to do for my mother. I will continue to do so, even if it means giving mom my last casual shirt.
GOD said if someone asked for your shirt, give them your pants as well and your jacket and shoes. I do and will. My parents gave up so much for us children that I should be willing to give mom my last peice of clothing. If that is what she wants. that is what she will get.
I am alone and have been for a very long time. And one day I hope to find the peace that I am looking for. Maybe in devloping and finding a way of prolonging my mother's life. With mom having clearer mind and in a more cognative state. Being able to function.
I don't know. I do know that this is what I want to do and I want to spent as much time with my mother as I can. And this includes moving to White Rock. Only if GOD can provide the miricle I seek. Because, again. I can not move from this situation into another one, with the same type of arrangement. I need my own space as well as a space for mom. And green space as well. Like our own home.
I am just wishing and wishing with great intent. Praying for it to be.
I have to go as the people up stairs play games with the wi-fi and unplug it.
So GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Sorry if there are spelling mistakes.
