Hello again
Well I can't write what I want as this is being read by the people I am living with now. Piss me off. I just don't want to have to keep on explaining myself. I say what I say and that is it.
I am frustrated because I can't find what I need right now. And we all know what that is. I am still very much in pain from my loss. Then counselor is helping a bit. But I need more. An actual counselor. I am finding my days are in a haze, just going about my days, without really knowing what I am doing. I have so much to do. I am not doing anything.
I need to get a doctor to help with my forms. I need to see someone to help me with, well, myself.
I am starting to get up earlier, as I don't even want to sleep. Food is really bothering me, but I have to eat.
All I think about is my mother. I am trying to occupy my time, to keep my mind busy, so I am not always thinking about my mother. It is somewhat working. I was out today with some friends. It was OK. I guess. I like them both. But my insides say, You don't want any friends you just want to be by yourself. True and not true.
I am a little crispy tonight, because of the sun.
But I need to go now. I want to try and get this movie. Then just relax and watch something.
I will be back
Kristopher W. A Schmuland
