Hello again
Well it is Easter Weekend and I was asked over for dinner at someone's place. I turned it down. I only have celebrated holidays with my mother for the last 12 years. Now that she is gone, I will never celebrate a holiday again. I am done. No more.
I mentioned before how alone I felt now that mom is gone. OK, I was alone before, but I had mom. I knew the next day I would be seeing mom and I wouldn't feel alone anymore. It was just when I left and came home, I felt alone. Now that mom has passed away, I truly know what it is like to be alone. I am really alone now. With no one to be with. All of those years I looked after mom, I never really made friends. I didn't have time to make and keep friends. I don't regret anything I did for mom, I don't regret not making any friends. I don't regret there just being mom and I.
Yes I do have sister's and others . But they are only blood. Otherwise they are strangers to me. And they have been that way for a very long time. Not family. Strangers.
But because I have only celebrated holidays with my mother. I just won't be celebrating any holidays anymore.Just to many painful memories for me. Especially Christmas.
I so miss my mother. It is coming up to two months, very soon and I still have not had a proper chance to grieve.
All I want to do it to give mom and service that she deserves. Like it was suppose to be. All arranged and everything. But because of, well you all know and I don't want to mention it anymore. It never happened.
I am trying to arrange for a service to happen, but I need the money to do this. And I have nothing. I am, as you know, trying to raise funds through a fundraising campaign, Not much luck with this. I have even asked if anyone would consider a loan, Nothing so far. I need to have the service within a two weeks from now. It is important.
I ask again for help with this. To donate or for a loan, to be paid back, by the end of August with interest.
https://www.gofundme.com/ka556fdk
I have not been online, or able to get online, for the last few days. I have had issues with my computer.
I do apologize for this. I see my numbers dropped way off over the last days. But I thank all who read this.
I am tired and need to eat something. So I will be back again tomorrow.
Thank you and GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
