Hello again
As stated in the title, it is cold, windy and wet in the Lower Mainland. For us spoiled people who live in the greater Vancouver area. Where last week we were breaking records for the hottest days. Now it is back to normal. I have always enjoyed the rain. Love the sound of it hitting the payment, the smell is refreshing. Cleans the air. I love the feeling of rain falling upon my head and face. As it washes over the dust and oil.
I think it was a few days ago that I wrote last. Since then it was mom's bath day and of course the staff left nothing on for mom. They just left her alone in her room. Mom is not capable of getting up and turning the TV or Radio on herself. That is what they are paid to do.
And the new case manager at the PGT, tells me not to be calling the staff lazy or incompetent. I say they are both. She the new case manager thinks the staff are above reproach, can do no harm. That they do a great job and do nothing wrong.
Tomorrow night I will post the email I sent the case manager at the PGT.
Yet the staff, day staff only. ( I have no problem with the night staff, though we have had our issues, they were resolved) continually tear the nightgowns, leave mom alone without so much as the radio on,,not give her something to drink on a regular basis. And they are of perfect character, are they not.
And after her dinner on bath day I give her the spa treatment to completely relax her. This worked wonders for her last night. I needed to leave a little early, for what I don't know. I didn't even write on my blog, I had nothing to cook for my mother or myself. Empty fridge and cupboards. I didn't even watch anything right away. It was hours later. So tonight I made sure I stayed later,just holding her hand. She was asleep long before I left. But smiled when I sang our good night song to her, and tucked her in, Then her good night kiss'. Didn't even open her eye's. Just a warm smile.
I do miss my mother every night. I wish I could do more for her and be there more often. I am so depressed at not being able to find a place with which I can afford.
So I caught a bus an hour later. I was fine with me. I didn't look forward to coming back her tonight again. Still an empty cupboard and fridge. An unwanted fast.
Not even 11 pm and I just don't know what I am going to do. I am very tired but don't want to go to sleep. I am very hungry, but nothing. I really do want a smoke. Been to many days now. I am starting to not like my own company. I want to quit, but not like this. It makes me want to smoke more.
I believe there is a GOD, but what transgression have I done to have HIM not answer any my prayers. Any of them. I pray for the health of my mother every evening. Okay, that prayer I would say is being answered. Mom doesn't get sick. This flu is has been and still is going around, Yet mom is not sick. Nor am I. I just don't get sick. Since I know this, this belief is covering mom as well. May be it is genetics, built into my mothers and my DNA. We don't get sick. Maybe it is just a mind set. Either way. I just don't get sick and nor does mom.
I do feed her very well.
I pray and ask for your prayers to find a suitable place for me in White Rock.
Gong to do nothing now. Just sit and stare at something. No cable. I do like it this way, but sometimes miss just turning the TV on to something for background. Instead of watching what I only want to watch Online. I really don't listen to music much. As the laptop speaker sound horrible. I just can't listen to music like this. I would rather not listen to music than to hear it in such poor quality Sensitive ears. Okay, Even though I am loosing my hearing I still don't want to listen to music that sound bad.
Now mom fell off to sleep completely relaxed and comfortable this evening. I on the other hand just can't get three straight hours of sleep each night. I am loosing it, partially because of lack of sleep.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris
