Hello again
Well today is one of those rainy and partial snowy days. Nothing is sticking where I am and where mom is. To bad. It would of been nice. It brightens up things.
I arrived very early today. I had a doctors appointment, so I went first to see mom, drop off my things, give mom a kiss and told her I will be back shortly. Which I was. Needing x-rays on my hip. It is really sore, can barely walk on it by the time I get back to Coquitlam
So people think that I think that I am something. Well folks I have already stated numerous times that I am nothing. A nobody. Looser in most peoples views. I don't date because I have nothing, and anyone my age wants a man that is stable and has things. Which I am and have none of that.
I have problems, I am an accident waiting to happen. I just mind my own business and the accidents come to me. Like this last one. I am just trying to get off the bus and the driver, drives away before I even had a chance to put my cane on the ground or even grab hold of the bar to assist me in getting off of the bus. But no, he starts to drive away, no very slow at that, and the door closes on me, pushing me off the bus and into the bus post.
I can't make this shit up. I am very creative, but this is just out of my league.
So I am injured, AGAIN. But I don't care.
Again, I am stating I am a nobody. I am just a son who is trying to do the right thing by his mother. Nothing more. I get nothing out of this. I am still poor. Live with holes in my boots and shoes. I would rather mom have everything than myself having anything. It is OK with me.
I started out with nothing, going into this, and I haven't lost anything yet. Still the same. .
I was the one who was there for my dad before he passed. I was there, at the home, 4 or 4 days a week. No one else. And then there for mom, while in the same home as dad. I was there for mom for each of her hip surgeries. Through out her ordeal at Vally view. And I am the one who spends 7 hours a day traveling to make sure mom has someone there for her. To keep her company. To laugh with her, to make her laugh. To sing with her, to see her singing along with the music. I am the one who found the perfect music to make mom's life better. To keep her clean. To wash her, give her a daily spa treatment, keeping her calm and relaxed though out the night and the next day. It is I who is there when she is feeling bad, or sick. Holding her hand, wiping her nose, cleaning her eye's. I get her ready for bed, I put her to bed. I am the one, every night feeding mom.
If there are problems with the care, it is I who addresses these issues. I make sure mom is not getting any medication that is going to harm her in anyway. I am the one fighting the PGT and making sure mom gets good food, a vitamin supplement (which the PGT has stopped providing the funds for) no thank to my sisters. I am the one who holds mom's hand while she falls asleep. I am the one freaking out each night, worrying about her.
I am the one who, every year, decorates her room for Christmas. Each year I try to make it more festive. I see no one else bringing mom the poinsettia every year.
I try to make mom feel as home as possible. Her own sheets, pillow cases, pillows and duvet covers.
No one else is doing this, but me. No one else is visiting her like I do. None of her grand or great grand children every come. Not even her own brother. I just don't care if they do or not. I am there!
But again, I am a nobody, I take care of putting myself down all the time. I am completely self deprecating. So what anyone says about me, oh well.
I KNOW THE TRUTH
Last night mom was wide awake, I got some great pictures of her with the Christmas tree. I got some good pictures of her and I. Mom ate better than usual as of late. 17 bites of food, rather than the 15 bites of food. Beautiful smiles.
But tonight mom did not eat well. From what I understand, speaking with the nurses, mom did not eat much of her breakfast or lunch. I did, however, got her to eat 10 bites of her dinner. We will see what tomorrow brings. I am very worried right now. I did have them take her blood pressure. It was in her normal range. So that is good.
Mom is drinking very well and as much or more than usual. This is a very good thing. To keep fluid in her.
Mom was a little grumpy today. But when she is like this, I just keep telling her I love her. And sing more to her, than normal. It makes her laugh. And she grabs my hand and pulls it closer to her and holds on tight.
This I love. Her iron grip.
So I had other things to say, You know it is good enough that I know the truth.
Yes one last thing. Mom had a locked box with all sorts of interesting papers in it. I am just putting this out there, that I was smart enough to make photo copies of every piece of paper in the box. Before it suddenly went missing. With everything else. Again, I made photo copies of every piece of paper in that locked box. These copies are sitting nicely in a safe deposit box.
I am very worried about mom tonight. As usual, but really, more than usual. I requested that the doctor contact me so we can discuss this. If I can't get any answers I will just take her to the emergency room.
GOD bless and good night.
Please pray for my mother.
Kris Schmuland
