Hello again
Today, I just missed the bus by a few seconds. The driver wouldn't wait for a minute while I go to the stop. I was 20 meters away. If that
Anyways I arrived at mom's at the usual time. I have been trying to get there earlier. And have been doing this successfully for a few weeks now. Until today.
Now mom hears me when I come in, if she is not facing the door. And I see her hand go out. I can feel the smile on her face. It is such a wonderful feeling. Gets me right to the heart.. I got over to her and just looked at her face and there was that smile I knew I felt. Yet mom seemed a little tired as well.
So I got everything out of the fridge and off to her room we went. I thought it would be good to eat in her room again tonight. Which we did, and the staff brought in mom's served dinner while mom was having her dessert. We didn't need this.
After dinner, being Wednesday, it was time to wash mom's hair. Didn't get to do this last week and she only had her hair washed on Saturday. Last Wednesday, mom visited the dentist, to tired to have her hair washed and Friday, mom was still to tired. Monday is the day she goes to the salon downstairs and get her hair done. But it was a holiday here in BC so that didn't happen. It needed to be done. It always relaxes her.
Then back to the room to get mom changed and into bed. So today we were able to get her entire nightly ritual completed before the girls came into change mom's diapers and wash her. This just left me to hold her hand after the girl was finished. And I stayed for an extra amount of time tonight. Just wanted too. Didn't want to come back here.
Got home 15 minutes ago. Enough time to get changed and get at writing this.
Mom was so happy that we had extra time tonight. She grabbed my hand tightly and pulled it into her. Then just relaxed. I am safe and loved. I could see this on her face. Breaks my heart that I have to leave so early.
Oh yea when the staff came in, she apologized for being late and I told her it was okay, that I was able to get everything done. We talked a little and I said if I lived out here it would not matter what time you came, I would just sit and hold mom's hand. I know why this conversation happened. I was telling mom it is not time to go to sleep, as the girl still needs to come in and change you.
Anyways, I sang to mom, she sung along with me, Our good night song. Something I made up. Tucked her in and said good bye and good night to her. Told her that I loved her and will see her tomorrow.
About me. I feel like I am a prisoner. Stuck in a tinny space and not able to get out of it. Of my own doing of course. The closer I get to Coquitlam the more stressed I become.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
