First I would like to speak on the time I have spent traveling to and taking care of my mother. I have said that I have never missed a day in the 3 1/2 years mom has been in White Rock.
Just writing 3 1/2 years doesn't seem like it is allot. But let us break it down.
Days Traveled
365 days in a year
3 1/2 years
It is over 1275 days in a row
Not missing even one day. That I have traveled to and taken care of my mother. That is just since she has been in White Rock. Let us not take into consideration the other 6 years that I traveled to and from, taking care of my mother all over the Lower Mainland
Traveling distance
It is ruffly 180 km's per day that I travel, there and back.
Which is 65,700 km's per year
Traveling Time
It is 7 to 8 hours a day traveling time for me to get their.
Let us go with 7.5 hours it takes me to get their each day.
That is 2,737.50 hours in a year spent traveling
The total so far, is 9581.25 hours that I have spent traveling to and from White Rock. And still counting.
Yes there are others that come and take care of their loved one's, but they are not their every single day. They take holidays, time off etc....
And I will continue to travel this distance to take care of my mother. Without fail. I want to live closer to free up time and distance. By doing this it will greatly benefit my mother in so many different ways. Just to be able to stay longer is one of them. And I could go on and on.
On my way home this evening. I realized that all I want to do right now, is to take care of my mother. Nothing else. Of course there are the day to day things I need to get done for myself. Doctors to see, arrange to see whom I need to see to accomplish the tasks at hand for my needs and my mothers needs.
Other than that, I just want to take care of mom. There is no one else to do this for her.
I thought about this today. My mother is completely dependent on everyone for everything. Okay she can wipe her nose and her eye's. She can grab my hand and hold it. She has lots of strength in her arms. Even the left arm which doesn't work. She can move it about a little bit. But not to much. So it is her right arm that she uses to do the little she can do. Mom doesn't know how to write anymore. I have purchased a wet board, and pens. I have tried to get her to hold the pen and write something. But to no avail. I have made an attempt at getting mom to write something many, many time now. Each time it is the same thing. I will put the pen in her hand, place her hand, on the wet board. Ask her to write mom, cat, dog. Anything. Within seconds after letting go of her hand. Mom will let go of the pen. Of course I will not stop trying to get her to write something.
This is just like me continuing to get mom to speak clearly. I keep trying. Or to bend her legs. Which she is doing a fine job of bending her legs. They bend even more each week. But only a very little.
I lost my train of thought here. Which was Would you like to live like this. Not being able to do anything for yourself. Completely dependent on everyone for everything. If you want a drink, you have to wait for someone to bring it to you and give you a drink. At their convenience.
I certainly wouldn't. I would never wish to live like this.
But I am going to be there for mom no matter what is going on or happens.
I will be her voice
I will be her hands.
I will be her legs.
I am her caregiver
I give my life, gladly, to take care of her.
GOD bless and good night.
Kristopher Schmuland
