Hello again
I first want to reiterate that I do not blame anyone for anything that is my life. Past or present. Except for the car accident(s) that took allot of my life away.
It is of my doing. My mistakes, no one else's. I have made the decision to take care of my mother. And with comes, well things. It is okay though. If I want things I guess I find a way to get myself together and work full time. And then I don't have the time to spend looking after mom.
That I cannot do. Looking mom is the most important person and thing I am and have done. So not having all the things I want is fine with me. I really don't want much. Just to live close to her and to be able to take care of her better than I am now. Just a simple wish
Now mom is fine today. Big smile on her face when I arrived. A very good dinner for her this evening. Which she really enjoyed. And her dessert of course.
It was a simple day for us both. I was up very early to make an appointment this morning. It took awhile to get their and then allot of paper work. Signing my name over and over again and initialing all sorts of thing cause my right hand to shake and to shake uncontrollably. It hurt and still does.
Now when mom and I finished dinner. She was tired as well. I just got her changed as quick as possible and got her into bed. The care aid came in and changed her. After this was the nightly spa treatment. Mom was just smiles all the way through this tonight. I had to go and wash the dishes, but it took a while for mom to let go of my hand. She was sleepy and just wanted to continue to hold my hand.
I was as quick as possible getting the dishes done and returned to find mom waiting for me. Eye's open, looking at the door.
I put the dishes away and grabbed mom's hand. All smiles and now relaxed. It was not long before she fell asleep. I sang to her, gave her a good night kiss and tucked her in.
Off I went. I needed to get a few things for mom, for dinners.
I am cranky and very exhausted. My hand hurts. I am hungry, but not. I have allot to watch, but I don't want to watch anything. But I do.
I am out of here.
GOD bless and good night. I am doubting this.
Kris Schmuland
