Hello again
For the last week, since the perm situation, I have been noxious, dizzy and I have a headache. Not sure if the smell from the perm is the problem. But I am not able to smoke, it makes it worse.
Maybe it is my body rejecting smoking. If so this would be great. I do know that the more I smoke in a day, the worse I feel. A good thing. I have been wanting to quit smoking. I am done and have had enough. Also it will save me allot of money. Money that I could use to move to White Rock.
Just think about that! What it costs in a month. And then it would save me money on a bus pass. I would only need a one zone, instead of a three zone.
Dreaming! And it would be a dream come true to be living in White Rock. Close to mom and saving me 6 hours each day of traveling. Which, by the way, I will continue to do, so I can be there for mom and take care of her. The way she took care of me when I was growing up. Only fair, to do for her after what mom and dad did for me. Making sure I was well taken care of. Growing up to be the man I am now. Compassionate and caring. Loyal, patient and understanding of the disease. Not afraid to deal with this head on. Without worrying about what others think or feel about me and what I do. Telling me that it is a waste of my time. That I don't get anything from doing this.
I beg to differ. What I get cannot be compared to monetary value's of any amount. It is a true feeling of love and peace within me and mom. Mom knows that there is someone who will be there for her no matter what is happening with her. Or what the disease has done to her. That she will see me every day and she knows this. Mom looks forward to this. Just the fact that she wants to hold my hand, shows that she knows I am and will be their for her..The peace she has from holding my hand, the warmth, the compassion, the caring. Falling asleep holding my hand, give her the greatest sense of peace and relaxation. Falling asleep seeing me as the last person she see's at night.
I don't know if I would like to see me, as the last person I see each night. LOL!
It is Friday, and I was able to wash mom's hair tonight. It made her feel so great. Got her into bed, gave mom her spa treatment and her drinks for the night. And off to sleep she went. Rather quickly.
I was not able to make mom the dinner I wanted to make for her. The fish was not thawed completely. It has to be completely thawed for the dish I want to make her. It would ruin the crust, to much liquid. I will be making this for her tomorrow. Lemon pepper Parmesan cheese panko crusted cod. I have to pat it dry to put the crust on it, before I bake it. And I just finished making her the big salad she loves. I think it will be a good dinner for her. I know it will be. I do have to make her a new smoothie and stop and get mom more papaya and a small dessert.
I stayed latter, just because.
Well tired now and have a few shows to watch. One of these days I will watch the movies I have. Need to clean my hard drive out. I have only 25 GB left of storage. I just can't afford a external drive.
Bye
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
