Hello again
I arrived at mom's early again, so I could get her drinks done and start our dinner. The roommate issue has been solved. She is out, reading. At the end of the hall. Plenty of room for her guests to visit. And the room is empty for mom and I. Then we get privacy while I get mom ready for bed and her spa treatment.
Tonight we ate in the room. I turned the Christmas lights on, turn the lights out on the other side of the room. So the tree looks good. Which it does. It is on a table now, and I have decorated under the tree as well.
While I was feeding mom, I saw her looking at the tree and I could feel that she was a little depressed. She loves the tree, but it is not Christmas anymore. No family gathering. People stopping by. Just no one. Not even her own children or her brother.
There has to be at least 20 or more around, but no one shows up. And since the girls already gave mom her Christmas present and card. They aren't going to be around until the new year. This is when they do their Christmas shopping. They raid mom's closet and take clothing. As they have done year after year. And no one does a f....ing thing about it. Even though I say they are not to take anything. NOT A SINGLE THING I will be putting up signs again and I will bring up to each and every staff member. That if they allow anything to be taken, they are responsible for it's replacement.
I really don't give a crap what they think. My mother's daughter's are not getting anything. Stealing from there own mother, like that. When they can't even visit her during the holidays. I know this, as last year was the same thing. Came weeks before Christmas and never showed up until the new year and then helped themselves to mom' clothing.
Well back to this evening. as I said I could see mom getting depressed. The room is looking good, warm and inviting. It was all I could do to hold back the tears. But wasn't able to hold them back completely. I just apologized to mom and held her hand even tighter.
Tonight mom did not want to let go of my hand. When I tried to pull it away, to cut something or do something. Mom just held onto my hand even more.
As mentioned, I apologized to her, and said that it is just you and me mom. As usual. Mom I will always be here for you, no matter what. As I have been .
It is an honor to be able to look after mom like this. She still says that she is a baby. Tonight I just said to her. You are not a baby, you are a full grown women. Who happened to have some strokes and has a bit or more of Dementia. I am only here to help you out. Assist you as much as I can.
You see. it is a little bit more difficult taking care of my mother. Most Dementia patients just have their memory problems. They still speak, sometime incoherently, but they still speak. Mom doesn't speak. I just have a gift of being able to read people and know what they are thinking.
And in most cases, know allot about them. It is a gift that has been developed over time and with education. /Sometimes I just try to turn it off, with no luck. I say I don't want to know that about them. It creeps me out sometimes. Knowing to much about people.
But this is, what I believe, is one of the reasons I have been given this gift. To read my mother and to take care of her. To know what she is saying and what her needs and wants are. It is a perfect fit. I can read people extremely well and mom needs me to be able to discern what she is saying and thinking.
So this year I need to make sure mom has a great Christmas. I will sing as much as possible. She enjoys it. Or just tolerates it. I am not sure which one. But that is OK. I will continue anyways.
I wish someone else would help me out to make mom's Christmas Great. That won't happen. It is up to me.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
