Hello again
Mom feeling good today.
It is funny, when I am their, mom will hold my hand, the entire time, if she could and just look at me. She does not acknowledge other people around us. Does not want me to interact with them. And mom will get mad if I spend to much time speaking with other's while I am their.
I do understand this. She is lonely. And trust me, I do understand what lonely feels like. I am this way all the time. Lonely! I deal with it. And because I am out around people most of the day, I have my fill of interaction. As I have mentioned before, people will speak with me and tell me their life stories. In a few minutes.
Again as I mention, maybe I didn't, I don't like to be touched. This is a called Haphephobia. I will only touch and allow to be touched by my mother. I freaks me out even going to the doctors. I need a good half an hour to prepare for my appointment. And this contributes to my loneliness.
So I do understand that mom wants me to herself. For the little time I am their. So I give mom as much as my attention as I can. Even if that means not talking to other's.
Most people will say 3 or 4 hours a day is allot. But mom is their, by herself, the rest of the time. And because she can't speak, no one pays much attention to her. SO MOM IS LONELY
I need to be closer to spend even more time with her.
Other's will say, what about a life for yourself. This is the life I have chosen. To care for and be their for my ailing mother. As I was for my father and mother and father( when they lived in the same home)
It was a normal day today, with mom. Feeding her dinner, cleaning her eye's before dinner. The lights bother her. Putting her to bed, after changing her. Then her spa treatment. Hold her hand while she falls asleep and then singing our good night song.
Normal.
Normal is good
I wish I could do more for mom. I wish I would be living out their to do more for mom.
It seems this will never happen. I look and am looking with someone. But so far, no go.
I am the last child, of a resident, to leave the home each night.
Nothing has changed with my injuries, except they are getting worse.
Time to go for the night, after midnight again.
Please continue to pray or start praying for mom and I
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
