Hello again
Lonely, despair, forgotten. Can it be.
Living a life of isolation
Walking in the shadows of existence
Only to have one's self
To see life through
Eye's of doubt
Fill my day
Loss of energy
As I begin each day
To know, I fear
Which is not known
Of my lonely journey
To find solace in what I do
Anyways, I needed to write this. Just came to me as soon as I started to write this blog tonight. It is what I feel. I only want to live in White Rock. Maybe have a conversation with someone. Where it is not about them. A conversation about anything.
I do miss having conversations with people of equal intelligence. I am not saying that the majority of the people I see each day, cannot keep up with me. OK I am saying this a little.
I am tired of speaking about the weather or some nothing conversation.
I do speak with mom. And I try to understand most of what she says. Through body language, facial expressions. Mom speaks volumes.
Wednesday and it is one of the day's I wash mom's hair. She complains a little, but loves it none the less.
I brought mom a grilled cheese sandwich. Extra Old white cheddar on sourdough bread. This mom enjoyed greatly plus the salad she loves. When I make this salad, it is a huge bowl and lasts us, both, three meals. It is a meal unto its self. I try to make this once a month.
But now we are both a little tired of it. At least mom and I are getting the proper serving of vegetables that are recommended.
Again I am finding all of these places that are just out of my price range. I mean just a little. This really pisses me off.
I just want to live close to mom. Spend more time with her. Be able to make some extra money. I really feel stuck. It seems I am in this place and can't get out.
I hate living here. I don't even want to come home at night. To find a dirty place, after I cleaned before I left.
By living near mom. I would get home by 8 PM and be able get to bed before 3 AM. As it is now 12:39 AM and I won't be in bed for at least another few hours.
Mom deserves better, she deserves to have someone their to help her out more. Not that I don't do enough, but I need to do more.
OK I am done.
Please continue to pray that I find a place, which, of course, I can afford
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
