Hello again
I sing a song, that I made up, to mom every night. And I was thinking about this, this morning. And it dawned on me that one day I will sing this song for the last time. It brought tears to my eye's. As it is doing now. GOD bless that mom lives a long and healthy life. With happiness and joy. I know it is going to happen, as it will with each and every one of us. But just thinking about it it bringing about, or brought about very sad feelings today.
It makes me really want and need to be living in White Rock. As I need to do more for my mother.
Someone asked me today if I had friends. The answer is no, I do not have any friends. They all abandoned me, shortly after I started to be a caregiver for my mother and father and then completely, after my father passed and I decided to look after mom full time. OK as full time as I can do, with all the traveling that I do.
They don't see what benefit it has for me. They think I should own a house, be married and have kids. Have a steady career. And be in deep dept. OK that is all well and good, but who would be their for mom. NO ONE! It didn't even take me very long to make this decision to look after my ailing parents. It was just like that, which I made this decision. Without hesitation.
I am single and have been this way for a very long time. I have dated, but no one has really sparked my interest. Lets face it, who wants a person who is poor and has absolutely nothing. Can't even afford to move closer to help look after his mother. Or even eat healthy, or even eat. Can't afford it, most of the time. I am very proud of the fact that I do look after my mother and am willing and wanting to be closer to even do more for her. This would all be good, yet I need to do this.
Yes I can do whatever later on. And that is fine for me. But I need to be closer to mom. I am tired of living in Coquitlam. And it is time. But I just can't seem to catch a break. I need help. And can't find it. Everyone tells me that a place is just around the corner. What corner is it around. I would like to know. Please let it be this next corner.
Mom was not so tired tonight, She did eat more tonight. But the roommate issue still bother's her and it in turn bother's me. I have been putting it out there that mom needs to move. I couldn't get in touch with the patients care coordinator. So I will be writing a letter so she has a hard copy of the conversation I will be having with her. Everything in writing. This has always been my motto. Why it changed I am not sure. But back to this I will be going.
Mom just wanted to just hang out with me tonight. I was speaking with someone and mom became made at this. I know she has no one during the day and this is the time she gets to spend with her son. I love this and will respect this. If someone wishes to speak to me, they will have to wait until after I finish visiting with mom. She wanted her ears cleaned and her spa treatment. And to hold my hand until she fell asleep. This makes it all worth while.
I love my mother and would do anything for her. And will fight for her rights, no matter what it takes. That is what a son should do for their mother. Honor your mother and father. Honor the widow.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
