Hello again
So today people continued to ask me the same questions.
Are you married?
Why aren't you married?
Why do you spend so much time with your mom?
Do you know she is going to pass away
I spend my time with my mother, because I choose to do so. It is mom who needs me their and I need to be their. Mom makes me a better person.
I would not have it any other way. Everything else can come latter on. Yes I am aware that mom is going to pass away. Aren't we all, going to pass away. I am aware of this fact. Do I need to dwell on it. Or can I just live in the moment and enjoy mom's company each and every day.
Mom has no one else to be there for her. Besides me, mom is alone during the day. The look on mom's face each and everyday when I arrive is priceless and makes everything worth while. For her to grab my hand and not want to let go. Is special for me and mom as well.
I am not married because, well, I am busy taking care of mom. I have not met anyone who understands what I am doing. Especially, that I am busy at certain times each and everyday, and this will not change, no matter what. It doesn't matter how good looking one is. it is not going to make a difference in the times I spend with mom.
And besides. I just don't care anymore. I am use to being alone. And this is just fine with me.
There are so many things that I need and I can't afford a girlfriend. Which is the first thing before one gets married.
And the things I need, hearing aids, moving to White Rock. The are the first things I need before getting a girlfriend. And after this, a TV would be nice. A stereo. furniture. But the hearing aids and moving to White Rock.
Mom tonight was disappointed with me. You see last night, Thursday, I brought mom gnocchi and meatballs, with a homemade sauce. Then grated Asiago cheese on top of it. So today, when I didn't bring anything, except fruit and cheese, mom was pointing to the bag, to see if anything was in it. I explained that I didn't bring anything today. That I can't afford to bring her dinner every night. Even though I would love to.
Mom was disappointed in this response. But I am bringing her sweet and sour meatballs and wild and long grain rice tomorrow/today. I hope mom enjoys this. I told her this is what I am bringing.
Mom was agitated when I arrived. She was very thirsty and hungry. Shows how much they pay attention to the needs of the individuals who live their. She couldn't wait until I gave her something to drink and eat. It is a good thing I do have things with me, as the dinner was tiny. Not much on the plate. It was suppose to be sweet and sour chicken. but it was a very small spoon full. Three bits for mom, and overcooked broccoli. And of course the usual mashed potatoes.
I got her into bed, but before doing so, mom and I danced a little bit. I sang to her. She was extremely happy about this.
The one thing I will miss when my hearing does go, is singing to mom.
Anyways. That nurse, is still around. Haven't seen her in a while, and I was glad. But she is back. This is the kind of place it is. A nurse makes physical threats against someone and they do nothing about it.
So I need to go.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
If you can help with my crowdfunding for hearing aids, here is the link again.
http://igg.me/at/helpmehear/x/917224
