Hello again
Today I get to the home and then I find mom in her room, facing the wall. No TV on, no music on. And talking to herself. She grabbed my hand and did not want to let go. She was talking none stop. But because of the stress of becoming homeless, I cannot hear what she is saying. Not just verbally, but I can read her, physically and mentally. Mom speaks with more than verbal dialogue. She speaks with her eyes, hands etc....
So I write about it. And will always write about everything. Now it is uncomfortable for me with that nurse, that threatened me, being their. I feel as if I can't even tell the nurse about mom and her being sick. Bronchitis, which if left un checked could turn into pneumonia.
I keep asking them not to use the pillows off of mom's bed under her feet. I won't put it back on her bed without changing it first, after being under her feet all day long. Well under her feet and legs. But she has shoes or slippers on. And I have to do this daily. So everyday mom gets a fresh and clean pillow case.
Now tonight, mom, as I said, did not want to let go of my hand. She was crying. She was upset because she was left alone and not around anyone. Who wants to be stuck in a corner. This was done, as I don't trust that nurse, at all. I think she should be fired for making threats against me. And I think she might be abusive towards mom. She is just that type of person. I know it and I am usually not wrong about people. I can read people very well. That's what I do and am very good at it. Applied Behavioral Analysis.
I feed mom and tonight she was not that hungry. She didn't even eat all of the prawns I brought her. She only ate one of the kiwi's and barely any of the frozen smoothie. Very little of her dinner. It is either she was upset or it is because she is sick.
I now have to call and speak with the doctor, as I don't want to speak to the nurse. And if I do, she will think I am attacking her, verbally. See what I mean. How one can be very uncomfortable around this type of individual.
Mom teared up many times this evening and did not want to let go of my hand.
Now
Being a caregiver is very hard at times. Not only do I spend 6 to 8 hours a day, I spend another 2 or more hours a day, arranging her appointments, speaking with her doctors. Advocating for her rights. Calling, writing the PGT for her needs. Writing this blog, about the experiences that we go through. Bathing her, changing her. Shopping for her needs. Her clothing, fruit, drinks etc... And getting the best deal possible. I don't work, as I don't have the time. And, I would never trade anything for the time I get to spend with my mother. I don't regret any of it. Yes it would be nice to have money to get things for myself. Or even pay my rent.
And it was foreign to me, at first, But not anymore. I learn a great deal from mom. Patients, not taking anything for granted. My emotions are all over the place. And all the while my life is falling apart. Turning to pieces.
And the fact that I have 5 days left to pay my rent or I am homeless. Great don't you think. I am told to call the guy in White Rock and ask for my rent back. Well I did, and he won't. Simple as that. I have to file a complaint with the Residential Tenancy Branch. To get a hearing, it will take a month or more. I don't have that much time. I only have 5 days. And that is that.
I now have to cancel my surgery. Don't know if I will have a place to live. If I don't have a home. The hospital won't let me leave. I will have to miss a day or two, but I will be right back on the bus and going to see mom. I will be doing this first thing tomorrow morning.
So this was my day. I was able to get funds released to purchase more cosmetics for mom. I need to get mom more fruit. First for her to eat and then to make her another frozen drink. Which they, the PGT won't release.
So now I write, knowing I won't get any help. So I really don't know where to turn to get help with this matter.
I, well,nothing. I am screwed.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
I will continue to pray, as I do everyday and for most of the day. I don't just pray for myself. I pray for mom and other's throughout the day.
