Hello again
Yes it has been many, many days since I last wrote. It has been a very difficult time for me. One example is I have been not getting home until 10:30 or so at night. I have been avoiding the landlord. I owe so much back rent, I don't want to be at home, in case the landlord comes a knocking at my door. The worse part is that the weather out here in Vancouver is bad, really bad. Snowing like crazy, very cold, a strong wind chill. And here I am not wanting to go home, so I am just wandering around doing nothing. Sitting in Tim Hortons. a restaurant, walking around, sitting a bus shelters. Trying to stay out of the cold, but no luck. Being soaking wet and very cold. Not wanting to go back to my warm home.
I am so very sick and tired of not being able to be at home, especially in the snow, that I have had it. I have had enough. I can't do it anymore. I have no help from anyone, at all. Not a soul to speak with. And when I do find someone all I get is GOD will help you. I have been waiting and praying all the time. And I am still walking the streets until late, so I don't have to speak with the landlord. Who lives up stairs. My church is not help either.
I am so stressed out that I am not even eating much at all. Just enough to sustain me. I should be eating three times a day and it is just once a day.
I am so stressed out that I am extremely tired and just fall asleep during the second show I watch at night. Then wake up at 3 in the morning. Then I can't fall back to sleep for hours. And up at 7 am.
When I leave, I am gone until night time. 6 hours until I can go home, is what I have to tell myself Sometimes it is up to 8 hours that I stay away from my place.
I am so far behind in my rent, it is not funny. I just don't have the money. I am still waiting for my disability application to be approved. Still waiting for the subsidized housing to get back to me. They have not contacted any of my references yet. Because of the x roommate, I am in this mess. I only make so much and it is not enough to pay this rent.I am looking for a place everyday. Again no help from anyone. I am tired of this as well. No help from anyone. AT ALL.Someone help me. I can't take this anymore. To much.
I didn't even want to write tonight. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. Not even eating was on my mind. I have been throwing out things, because they have sat in my fridge for days. No good anymore.
So if you read this I ask you to help me
I would like to just be at home at night, without worry.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
2242 152 street
Surrey BC
V4A 4 N9
