Hello again
Yes I am still having to type one handed, it just hurts to much to type normally... And I am having problems with my wireless keyboard and mouse. Need a new one. On top of everything else that is gong wrong.
I went to the ER but it would of been a 6 hour wait. Not for me. I see my doctor Tuesday. I hope it will be OK until then. It is difficult to cook. And I like to cook. It relaxes me. Just like ironing does. Weird or what. I want to bake a pie and some bread. To much work.
No answer on my disability application, I am hoping it is approved soon. And I need to get this application into the subsidized apartment. I have not been able to get in touch with my old landlord. I even called someone that lives there still to get the phone number. It is the same as the one I have. So I put his name down anyways and call him to tell him I put his name down. He was going to be a reference before,so I don't see a problem now. You never know though.
I am still behind in my rent I can't seem to find a place to rent that I can afford. Even shared accommodations in my area are to expensive for me. And here in lies another problem. I am relying to much on this subsidized place for my rescue. It was the church who sent me there. ?So!
My mother's one year anniversary for her passing is coming up in a few weeks. I have been becoming increasingly depressed over the last few weeks. I have called a few bereavement organizations, missed there return calls. Need to try to get in touch with them right away. I need to see someone. Allot of people will say. It has been a year, so get over it. For me that is difficult. I need to accept this. But not on my own. I have no one to speak with. The grief counseling was not enough.
We all deal with death differently. I am dealing with it as well as I can. Taking care of my mother was my life. This is all that I did. Was travel back and forth to take care of mom. And this is what I know I was to do. I felt it inside and I know it was GOD who gave me this gift. So that is what I did. I felt no remorse for doing it full time. It didn't bother me that I was not working and mom was my life. It still doesn't bother me. What is still bothering me is mom passed away. To early. The home should of caught the infection sooner. I blame them for her passing.
What is it that I am to do. I have searched and searched for employment, And no job. I have been injured again in a accident. This time, more seriously than I thought. I am freaking out because I am having difficulties using my right arm and I couldn't walk one day. It is still hard for me to walk. I needed to change arms with my cane. To support my right side.
Now I am going to this conference on Saturday, that is for individuals that are facing death or their loved ones or have faced this. An email just showed up in my in box telling me about this conference. I don't or have not subscribed to this organization.. It is free and an Online ticket. To weird for me. It is something I need at his moment in time. GOD to the rescue. I hope something comes from this.I need whatever help I can get right now and for the next while.
Please pray and help if you can
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
https://www.gofundme.com/kirsschmuland
https://www.gofundme.com/anewmesmile
