Hello again
As it states I am having a difficult time dealing with my mother's passing. I don't know how I am going to continue like this. It is to hard. I can't manage. I just don't want it to be true.
I am going through my days in a fog, not knowing what is going on. I don't trust anybody anymore. Not even people I have been around for a few years. No one.
It is very difficult to find someone who doesn't just blow it off and say get on with life, People die. Yes they die, but I spent my last decade or more looking after one person and one person only. I didn't even take the time to look after myself And I am finding it difficult to do just that. Look after myself.
My mother's passing is not what I was looking forward to. I thought mom had more time. I did see mom go down hill over the years. And I knew one day that would be it. But not now. I need my mother. I just want to hold her hand again, To sing to her again. To just sit with her, reading to her.
Mom loved to hold my hand. In fact she never wanted to let go of my hand, from the time I arrived to the time I left at night. I was OK with that. I loved that about her. She knew I was there for her and I wouldn't let her go. But she is gone now and it is becoming very hard for me to even go on.
I sit here typing this and I cry and cry. I don't know what to do. I have no one in my life now. My life is over. I don't want to do this anymore.
My sisters just are greedy and don't care that I was the one who took care of our mother. And I am the one who mom wants to have her ashes. I know this for a fact.
She said to me one time, " It looks like it is just you and me" quote!
I knew it and I knew it years ago. That I would be the one who took care of mom. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have no regrets. Except one. Not getting mom to spell out exactly what she wants done when she passes away.
It is to late now.
I now have to fight just to get her ashes. They, the sisters, only care about themselves. No one else. That was obvious at the meeting with the funeral director and all of us. When the one stated clearly " Mom can just rot in the morgue" Nice isn't that.
That they could treat their own mother like that. The funeral director heard this and was not sure what had just happened.
They happened, just like they happened when my father passed away. Everything their way, even if it meant breaking the law.
Which they did with dad and they attempted and actually did with mom. By canceling the contract at Ocean View without even asking me was and is against the law.
We are all co executors of the will, as it was with dad. Not two of them. Three of us.
So I now have to fight in the Supreme Court of BC to get mom's ashes. They will have to do the same thing. Her ashes are in probate. And the court is the only way mom's ashes will be released.
No other way. We can agree on everything being split three ways. But then there is mom's ashes and I will not back down.
I am extremely upset and just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I have no money to fight in the courts. I know they don't either.
I am trying to raise funds for a lawyer, but no one seems to even care enough to donate to my campaign. Yes one person has.
Please help out, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT MOM NOT SIT ANY LONGER ON A SHELF.
Please donate to
https://www.gofundme.com/ka556fdk
I can't do this anymore tonight. I am just a train wreck lately. And it is not getting any better.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
