Hello again
So it has been a few days since my last blog, I have been really busy. I leave my place at 11 am and get back at 11 pm Then to try to eat something. If I have to cook I am not eating until 1 am. Of course one is not going to go to bed right after they have eaten. Now it is 3 am when I am starting to fall asleep. Doesn't take long for this to happen. I fall asleep to a show, part way through. I watch the rest in the morning while getting ready. Then off again. And if I have to do anything while on my way, I need to leave even earlier.All this so I can get there by two pm.
I really just want to get to mom's by noon. I have had an add on Craigslist for 3 years and nothing I can afford. I have even placed it under Shared accommodations. Yes they want $600 to share a place. But I digress, I have already mentioned this numerous times.
Now to mom.
The last several days mom has been taking more and more of the thickened water and thickened Resource. Each day a little bit more. Yes there are days when it is less she takes. But overall it has been good,
Until today.
It is an off day for her. She took some of the thickened water and Resource, but apparently early this after noon mom was very tired. And not responsive, just fast asleep.
So when I arrive they all come running in to tell me my mother has taken a turn for the worse. She is having an off day. Yes there is flem in her throat, and she is breathing with a bit of a gurgle. But this is just that. They tell me she has a few days left, that is it, she has taken a turn for the worse. I then tell them that, in our road to recovery, we have good days and bad days. We take 5 steps forward and two back. Today is an off day, we don't know what tomorrow will bring and it is just your opinion on what is happening. GOD only knows what is going to happen. They tell me that she is not taking anything, I say, As usual, the staff have a hard time feeding her, but when I arrive, mom takes allot through out the night. So again an off day, and we will see what tomorrow brings, Mom will most likely be very hungry.
But they told me to prepare myself, that I have done everything I could. That no one has dedicated the time you put in, to their loved one's. IT IS MY DUTY, IT IS WHAT I AM TO BE DOING.
I have not done enough. I have not given her real food. Only then and then only, will I be able to say I have done everything. I have to see if she will eat food and swallow it. Well she swallows the thickened water and thickened Resource, so why would she not be able to swallow food. Pureed. No reason that I know of. BUT I MUST TRY!
I did end up giving mom something and of course she took it from me. Of course she did. She was responsive for me, as usual and we talked. I held her hand and when she was resting, all I did was pray, over and over again that GOD heals her. I know her will
But mom is getting very thin. And of course she is. Only getting boost and thickened water. And the amount she needs of this, none of us would be able to consume in a day. Twelve tettra packs of thickened water and 6 tettra packs of Resource. Not a chance any of us could take this. This I am very worried about.
What mom needs is food, real food. this is the only way she will get well. And I am going to be shouting this to the roof tops tomorrow. I will be demanding food for her. Pureed, but food.
They are stressing me out, Freaking me out and upsetting me greatly. I was in tears a few times. They tell me they are there to support me. Not a chance that this is true. They now have done this 3 times to me. She is dying, only a few days left. I say that is just your opinion and only GOD knows.
THEY ARE NO GOD. ONLY HE KNOWS AND I KNOW GOD WILL LET ME KNOW.
Now my phone, they tried to call me today, but we all know that Sony is holding my phone hostage. And the home trying to get a hold of me and not having a phone, is really pissing me off. I have spent almost two weeks telling Sony that I have a warranty and I am not paying to have it repaired. And yesterday the tech person was extremely rude to me, after telling me I have to pay to have it repaired, then again I say I am not paying for something when I have a warranty. He then proceeds to tell me that if you don't pay we are going to hold your phone until you pay. today I call and the customer service tells me this is escalating and Sony is going to replace it with a new phone. Escalating, I will now be showing them what the word escalating is about. I ask when, I don't have that information. Tomorrow, next week, a month a year. I can't tell you when it will happen. So I am still without a phone.
I really need to be living out there. This is where I need help. If I had any decent amount of money I would be out there already.
Please pray for mom to be healed. Pray that GOD provides the miracle for this to happen and for me to find a place for March 1, 2016. I will keep mom alive. I have asked her if she is ready to die and her answer was NO!
Kris Schmuland
