Hello again
Yesterday my mother's roommate passed away. She was doing so fine the day before. She actually had a chance to go home for the first time in a year and a half. And she enjoyed it tremendously.
Then the next day she became ill and passed away. Just like that. I look at it like this. " She got to go home, then she went home." Think about it!.................
I told mom and I know she felt something and new what was going on before I even told her. Mom is more with it than anyone thinks. I see it in her all the time. The sarcasm, which is great. Today when I brought it up, as her husband came and cleaned out the roommates side of the room. I will miss them both. I enjoyed speaking with the two of them. The roommate and her husband. But anyways, when I brought it up tonight I could see sadness in mom's eye's. I just held her hand tighter and told her that I loved her. Gave mom a gig hug. This she motioned for... Mary, mom will lean, from her left side, towards me. This means she wants a hug.
It is Easter. The resurrection of Christ. And everyone has there Easter dinner. Mom was no exception. I made her a nice stuffed (seafood,cheese and green onion stuffed) chicken breast, dipped in an egg wash then rolled in a seasoned panko crumbs. Along with Brussels sprouts and tri colored baby potatoes, with sautéed mushrooms and topped with green onions, then saved Asiago Cheese. Then just her normal Papaya and her Lindt chocolates. Plus I made a fresh smoothie this morning for mom.
That was mom's dinner. I really don't eat the same thing I make mom. I go without allot of times and I don't eat as well as she does. I just want to make sure mom has a very good home made dinner each night. There was a few potatoes left over as well as some Brussels sprouts and a little bit of chicken. I will be having that for my dinner. I might make a grilled cheese as well. Not the same, but oh well. This is the way I want it to be.
But mom was tired as she ate dinner. She did her, what I like to call, sleep eating. She will eat with her eye's closed. Yes she will eat this way and has done so often. Mom just trusts me that much. I will wait until she is finished chewing and then I just put a fork full up to her mouth and she will open her mouth and allow me to put the dinner into it. Without even opening her eye's. " I get to do this"
So after dinner mom really just wanted to go to bed. Turn the TV off, or at least turn the volume off. But we had to wait. They really have a problem if I put mom to bed. Even though I have been doing this for many years. So we wait. We finished dinner and clean up early, so it was not even 6:30 pm when the care aid came in to put her to bed. And that is the usual time it it done.
I hurried in giving mom her spa treatment. She was just tired. Then I just stood there holding her hand, singing to her. While she fell asleep. Her hand loosened, time to sleep. I sang our good night song to her, gave her a kiss good night. Done. Packed up, said good night to her and off I went and here I am. 3 hours later.
Nothing is new with me. Still can't hear behind me, People were calling to me in mom's home, didn't hear them. Hand is shaking more and more. I get my second opinion this month. We will see what this neurologist has to say. As mentioned the first one told me I have Parkinson's disease. I just know my hand is shaking, it has been going on for over a year.
I know I ask all the time, but I will keep asking for help. No one thinks what I am doing is worth helping me over. Isn't that nice. Taking care of a loved one doesn't rate in this world. But supporting someone on a crowdfunding site, making a new BBQ is worth one's support. REALLY. Tells me exactly what this world has become. I can't even get help to purchase hearing aids. Have the doctors prescription, but can't get help from anyone. Not even my own government. Or anyone else for that matter. I need to be able to hear what others are saying. I need to be able to communicate with the staff and the PGT concerning mom's care. But supporting a portable BBQ on one of the crowdfunding sites, is something that is important. My arm shakes like crazy. To the point where I can't use it all the time. I just dropped things.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
