Hello again
So I am asked all the time if I have any family. My new response is this. I share the same DNA sequences with several people here in the lower mainland, but I only have one family member. And that is my mother.
I arrived early this evening and mom was looking very good. This nice navy top and pants I bought her. All she needed was the boat shoes and she would look like she just stepped off of a sailboat. I took some pictures of her. Will share them with you, but not tonight.
She was wide awake and talkative, I did our usual, drinks, dinner and the dishes. By the time mom had finished eating, she was falling asleep. But she really enjoyed the dinner I made for her. And was very full. So when I was doing the dishes,she was falling asleep.
I changed her into her nightgown, she did wake up for this. Just as I finished the care aid came in and put her to bed.
Oh by the way. The bin to put the laundry in, was used today. Let us see how this goes.
And after she was put into bed. I did a quick spa treatment, but a full one. Mom was snoring away. Sound asleep. But holding tightly onto my hand. It is a beautiful thing, when mom squeezes my hand like this. She knows she is secure and loved. It always brings me to tears when I look at her and she is sound asleep but holding on tightly to me.
It is the only warm feeling I ever get.
When I feed her she just stares at me. I can see her doing this through her glasses. It is OK. I do wonder sometimes what she is thinking. It is OK though.
I never rush mom, We could be there all night, if that is what it took to make sure mom eats all that she wants and is not rushed.
Yes it is painful feeding her with my right arm. As it barely works anymore. OK it works, but with great pain. I can't lift it up to high. Today I couldn't hold onto anything. Everything just dropped out of my hand. It shakes.
I can't feed mom with my left hand, as she has a blind spot on her left and it startles her when my hand comes up to feed her. So it is right handed, that I feed her with.
But I will do whatever it takes. Even if that means I am in pain.
I always have the music playing. First from my phone and then when we get into her room I change it over to the stereo. Sometimes I have the bluetooth connected, and I play the music from my phone on her stereo.
I cannot wait until I find a place and move out their. I am done living here. I hate it. But I have no funds to rent my own place and am limited to what I can spend on rent. so it is living with a total stranger, is all I can afford. and not trusting anyone will make and is making it hard for me.
The problem is I don't trust anyone. At all. It is very difficult when one is able to read people right away.
Enough of me. Again.
Now when I left, mom was fast asleep. She didn't even respond while I sang our good night song to her.
It was all OK though.
Need to go.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
