Hello again
I only get one chance of doing the right thing by looking after and taking care of my mother. There are no do-overs here. Just one chance at making sure my mother is treated right. One chance to make her happy, while living with Dementia and strokes taking away her voice and the use of her left arm and hand.
Once chance to do everything I can to make her life as enjoyable as possible.
Once chance. No do-overs.
Mom has given of herself to help others. To do what she could to make sure other people//family members got what they needed. Even if it mean't sacrificing things for herself.
Mom and Dad where there for us children, no matter what.
So I am there for mom, no matter what....... And was there for my Dad, no matter what.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
It is not often in one's life we are given a chance to prove that we are decent human beings. OK, we are given this chance almost everyday.
It is a rare few who takes hold of this opportunity and does something about it.
Most just warehouse their loved one's and show up on occasion. I mean Birthdays, Christmas etc.... I can speak to this matter with an honest heart.
I see it everyday. When someone is telling me that they wish their loved one's would come more often. I can count on one hand the people who are their daily. And this is out of 50 residents.
I do not like to brag about what I do. I have been given a blessed opportunity to take care of mom. So this is what I do. No matter what anyone says to me.
Individuals tell me all the time that I will be blessed for what I am doing. I just say, I am blessed, but I would prefer the real blessing to be now. So I can share it with mom and others. To be able to get a van with wheel chair accessibility and take mom all over the place.
I feel really guilty that I can't do this for mom. I have no car, no way to purchase a van. Mom has been stuck inside for long enough. OK I get her outside as much as I can. But it is only around the hospital that I push her around. I get there so late, it is hard to take her out at all and I feel damn guilty about this.
I keep saying when I move their I will have you over for dinner, I will take you more places. But I can't even do this right. And I feel guilty about this.
I should be their already. Not talking about it. But I don't have the money to do so. Even finding a shared accommodation that I can afford it difficult.
I just wish something good would happen so I can better take care of mom.
I pray and pray and pray. I read the word everyday on my transit trip to White Rock.
I am done for now. I am feeling really depressed right now.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
