Hello again
Remember that old song.
I want to start by saying this. It is not the traveling that bothers me, it is having to carry so much back and forth. Living their I won't have to carry everything so far.
And it is frustrating me and making me angry that I cannot use my right arm as I did. The Doctor has no idea what is happening.
The insurance company doesn't give a shit.
My arm shakes and I cannot even take things out of my right pocket and put it on a counter without my arm going into spasms. Piss me off. And it is embarrassing.
Anyways, Mom
Today she was extremely tired. Smiles when I arrived, but a little grumpy from being so tired.
It was very warm at the home and cooler in her room.
We ate in her room. I asked her if this is what she wanted to do. And she agreed.
She ate as much as she could. But I know when she is tried as she chews very slowly and for a period of time.
But she managed to eat a fair bit. And her dessert.
Today is Monday and mom usually has her hair done. But being a holiday here in BC, they are not working. So I washed and styled her hair tonight.
I got mom back to her room and changed her, put her to bed and started her spa treatment. Mom wanted me to change her pad. She motioned for me to do this. By placing her hand upon her waist.
I just said that the girl will be right in. But if she is not, when I finish your spa treatment I will do this for you.
No sooner did I wash her face, and before I had a chance to remove the soap, the girl came in. I just rinsed her face and helped change her.
I then continued to finish the spa treatment.
Well as soon as I finished this, mom was already asleep.
She woke up, wanting something to drink, and this I did for her. As soon as she had enough, back to sleep she went.
OK time to leave, after standing there for a while, holding her hand. I packed up and on my way I went.
I am really doubting my faith again. I can't find a place that I can afford, so I thought to see if I can find someone to share a place with. Not even this.
What is going on. I don't want to be here anymore. I have to deal with idiots.
I just want to be living out their. I am becoming desperate. And when one is desperate, they make bad decisions.
Just a place that is decent is all I ask of GOD, but nothing. Not even a hint of help. I read the Bible daily. I have it on my phone and I am reading the old testament again. I never released how harsh it is. WoW!
But I read on.
So mom is my main focus and it should be this way. I want to be able to spend more time with her. She deserves me to spend more time with her.
It seems that when mom see's me, she thinks that it is dinner time and bed time. I need her to know I am their for more than this. She deserves this.
Midnight again and I need to eat something. To hot to cook.
GOD bless and good night. I am hesitant about this.
Kristopher Schmuland
