Hello again
I leave early today, so I can get downtown and do what is needed. This way I can jump on the train and get to mom's early. Well, after I get on the bus to White Rock, the driver announces that there was a large accident on the Freeway and we will be re-routing. I arrived in White Rock later than normal. I had to get what I needed, not all of it, and almost run down the street so I could get to mom's on time. Just made it, when dinner was being served. And I hurt my legs, walking so fast.
I did this so I could get their early to wash mom's hair before dinner. But I washed her hair after dinner.
Mom can't feed herself, so I do it for her. It is messy and mom does not always open her mouth wide enough for me to get her dinner in. So it ends up all over her front and myself. It is OK. These things happen in life. As we get older and develop diseases, we rely on others. As mom does with me. And I have chosen to do this for mom and I am very happy to make sure she is loved. Unconditionally.
There has been nothing in my life this important to me. As I have said before, I am nothing. And if it were not for me looking after my mother. I could not tell you if I would even be around to be writing this Blog. I do appreciate everyone who reads this.
Some days there are many and some days, but a few. I wish I knew all of you who read this to thank you personally.
It has been read by individuals in all many different countries
I am not sure if mom ate enough, or she just wanted her hair washed. But either way, mom did eat quite a bit.
Mom was tired as it is the weekend and this is the norm. Considering she is tortured all week. Yes that is what I wrote. Mom is being tortured. And her stress presents in rigidness of hands,and legs, as well as her left arm and hand. I have said this before, two days of the lights and TV off, allowed mom's hand to relax and loosen, opening up.
With this roommate, it is like Guantanamo bay. constant TV, lights and delusions, which she is having conversations with no one. But insists that they are in front of her. No peace and quit, at all. This would drive me over the edge and I would be freaking out.
This is what I will be stating to the staff, from now on, as well as the management. And Pivot legal Society Maybe this might be the only way they will understand what is being done to my mother.
Anyways, I like the nurse that has been on for the last few days. She gives mom her nightly medication early. This way I hold mom's hand, which by the way is the best feeling one can have, knowing that mom just wants to hold your hand while she falls asleep. With her getting her medication early, mom can fall asleep without being awaken to get her medication. So when I leave, mom is almost completely asleep, but waits until I sing to her and give her a big hug and kisses.
I love this feeling I get while their and when I leave. Someone relies on me, and I am there for her.
OK, I ask for help. I am poor and without anything. And at this moment in time, I consider myself to be nothing. But the one thing I do have is knowing that I am there for someone and I loyal to a fault. That I have not let my mother down. That I have been and always will, be their everyday. As I have been for many, many years.
No one can believe that I travel 3 hours each way for my mom. I can only do this with the help of my GOD. People say that mom would not be around if it were not for me.
I really don't believe this, but it could be true. I like to think that it is the fact that mom is healthy and has always been this way. That GOD is taking care of her.
I don't think mom is suffering at all. Frustrated though.
OK I am done for the night. To tired.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
